CSI:Rollergirls

If you didn't watch CBS tonight, well, you missed out...sort of but not really. CSI:NY had a whole episode devoted to "Rollergirl Crime". Register your skates, ladies, cause they might be Lethal Weapons! Haaaaa-ha-haaaa-haaa-ha-haaaaaaaa....

[Composing self.]

Well, if you are thinking about Murder By Skate, then don't do it! Because they will totally catch your ass! Especially if it's fake Murder By Skate. (I was confussed also...and I watched the damn show.) But all they need is a few dedicated cops (some of which were strategically placed in the audience for their very 1st Rollergirl bout) , a couple of evidence/fiber gathering montages, and a desperate teleplay writer who apparently watches cable for show ideas.

It was a "great" Rollergirl crime episode...that was completely not about Rollergirls or Roller Derby.

CSI:NY Episode link: http://www.cbs.com/primetime/csi_ny/episodes/210/

So we start at a banked-track RD match between Manhattan Rollergirls & some other "team". It gets rough. Thank Goddess I was flipping channels at the right time. The girls stack up & start fighting. Suddenly, it's the NFL. Once they peel the Rollergirls off, a dead Rollergirl is produced at the bottom. OMFG!

1st of all, I had totally forgotten Gary Sinise was doing a TV show. Fuck me. I love how he summed up Roller Derby in 1 sentance though. (Roughly Paraphrased)
Girl Criminologist: I thought Roller Derby was a simple game.
Gary Sinise: It is. The jammer circles the track, lapping the pack once. Then the jammer scores points every time an opponent is lapped.
Girl Criminologist: This is my first bout. Isn't Roller Derby from the 70's?

And so on, and so on. Then it was at least 2 montages while gathering evidence. For a spell, they narrowed it down to a certain type of roller skate. But tests proved it wrong! I faded off sometime after. I really TRIED to watch it. However, I learned 2 things:
~ The spin-off CSI shows are all about the people working the case, not about the case. Remember when X-Files USED to be good? Before it every case became exclusively & specifically about Mulder & Scully? Yeah...it's that bad.
~ Gary Sinise, in true Law & Order style, disappears a 3rd of the way into the show, replaced by sub-par actors desperately trying to camouflage.

By the end, it was totally about something else, & I was like....What? I gave it a thumbs up & down. Up for noticing the NEW Rollergirl Era, but thumbs down for all their other CBS/CSI bullshit.

I Suck! I really do.

I'm sooo behind in posting. I'M SORRY!
I went to the Texas Rollergirls season starter bout on March 5th. It was AWESOME! (More on that soon.) I have pics, mostly bad ones but the posed pics came out ok, as well as a 1/2 done bout review post on it. A week & a half later, still not posted. Shit!

I missed the last Lonestar Rollergirls bout...not counting the cancelled bout in late Feb that turned into a fan meet/greet. Double Shit! And it looks like I just might possibly miss the SxSW Texas Rollergirls bout due to babysitter issues, (it's Spring Break here & everyone is out of town). Triple Shit! I can't keep up. We were supposed to go out of town for Spring Break, so I packed & got ready for it but it fell through. However, my kids are now bouncing off the walls, & I'm busy, busy trying to appease the monster children in addition to sucking in my Rollergirl duties. Quadruple Shit! And being that it's the high season in Austin Rollergirl activity, something is going on every weekend. And I seem to be missing at least a tit for tat.

If ANYONE has pics or bout reviews for something I've missed, feel free to email me at rollergirls@sbcglobal.net. Cause right about now, I'm feeling pretty bad at not bringing you all the highs & lows of the awesome world of Austin Roller Derby. Help!

SxSW-Style Texas Rollergirls Bout on 3/18/06

Announcing a special bout at the Austin Music Hall on March 18th (doors @ 1:30pm) -- which just so happens to be the same weekend as the South by Southwest Music Festival (SXSW)!

Not only will you see some bad ass skating from your beloved Texas Rollergirls... we're throwing two other Flat Track Derby leagues from the Dallas/Fort Worth area into the mix. The Hustlers and Hell Marys will go helmet-to-helmet, then Assassination City Derby and Dallas Derby Devils will battle it out. The winners of each bout will then challenge each other for the Deep In The Heart of Derby crown. Look out, 'cause the Texas Rollergirls are gunnin' to have some fun with fresh blood!

And because you can never have enough Flat Track Derby dolls under one roof, three other Flat Track Derby leagues from around Texas will also be representin'. Yeehaw and Hell, yeah!

Because we're the numero uno Rock-n-Rollergirls, we have some great musical entertainment for you, too! Joining us are The Spits from Seattle and... The Motels! with the ever-so-lovely Martha Davis at the helm. Only the lonely or even the not-so-lonely might remember the Motels! And we have a super secret musical entertainment surprise for you while you're waitin' in line outside! Get yer tickets right here, right now!

What: Texas Rollergirls "Deep In The Heart of Derby" Bout!
Where: The Austin Music Hall
When: Saturday, March 18th - doors at 1:30 p.m.
Who: Texas Rollergirls, Assassination City Derby, Dallas Derby Devils
Music: The Spits & The Motels
Tickets: $10 in advance ($12 at the door) at Cheapo Discs, Beerland, Playland Skate Center, and online right here!

Our spotlight charities for Deep In The Heart of Derby are Anthropos Arts and the Austin Music Foundation.

Texas Rollergirls WIN Dust Devil 2006

The first-ever Flat Track Tournament is OVER and the Texecutioners WON the Dust Devil 2006 National Championship, February 24-26, 2006, in Tucson. Three days and nights of Flat Track competition among 20 leagues from across the nation.

This officially makes the Texas Rollergirls THE National Flat-Track Roller Derby Champs in the USA. Congrats to all the girls! I know they worked hard for it!

2/12/06 Bout Review: Lonestar, here I come!

This bout was totally different than the 1/29/06 bout with the Putas/Holy Rollers for several reasons:
1. There was a hell of an Austin Fire Dept (AFD) presence there.
2. It wasn't as packed, crowd wise, even though both bouts sold out.
3. The game was REALLY close. No 40 point blow out. It came down to the last few jams to determine a winner.
4. I drank many more beers this time. (Hell, I wasn't driving so I got down with the Lonestar.)

We arrived around 5:20, thinking we'd get a good spot in the front of the line. Wrong. The line was already starting to wrap around the parking lot, but we managed to get in line before it got out of hand.

The only problem with the line is the cutters. We had a group of 4 people ahead of us in line, but by the time the doors opened, their group had grown to about 10-15 people who conveniently jumped ahead of a long line of people behind them. I heard a few complaints around me.

Even in the parking lot, you could feel the AFD presence. They brought in a firetruck, which I didn't remember being there last bout.

The ticket lines were much better marked with added signs this time. Kudos. Of course, it's like what happens to me at the grocery store. Last bout, I was Will Call tickets, which was the monster line. This time, I was Have Tickets, which was of course the longest line. (I swear I can't win for losin'.)

By the time we made it in, most of the good seats were taken. There were some seats left high up in the stands, but none of them were good for taking pictures with a disposable camera. I noticed that a lot of the prime seats were all reserved for rollergirls friends/family, and rightly so.

BTW, I happened to run into Lux at this point, when we were looking at the seating situation. She was chatting with friends so I didn't bother her. But Frankie, her DJ boyfriend, came up & talked to her as we were leaving the area. (They looked like they are still an item....good for them.)

We found some seats on the standing platforms west of the track. (We were literally directly opposite the announcers station.) We grabbed some beers & chilled for a while. I noticed that they had added a traffic path in the western part of the track. Last bout, there were so many people standing in the west part that it was pretty crowded to walk thru from one side of the venue to the other. But they fixed that, clearly marking the standing area & defining a clear walk path with roped barriers. Again, kudos.

One thing I noticed is that it wasn't as crowded as before. The crowd streamed in steadily, but it wasn't as packed, even though they had announced to people buying tickets that they were sold out pretty quickly after doors opened. If memory serves, I believe they announced that around 200 tickets were available, however there is no way that 200 people went through the ticket purchase line before it was shut down. I suspect AFD had something to do with that.

Another thing, there weren't any raffle give-aways this bout. Last time, they raffled off a steady stream of things by the last few digits on your ticket. I don't remember them doing it at all cause I was ready this time, since I had my ticket in hand.

The bout started pretty much on time, so everything seemed kosher. However, as per the TXRD message boards, supposedly the bout almost didn't take place since AFD threatened to shut it down. Don't know if that's true or not, but it seems on the up & up since AFD has the Thunderdome currently shut-down for the 2/26/06 bout. (More on that later.)

Skater intros took place rather quickly, then the bout started. The Hellcats took the early lead in the 1st jam, 1-4 Hellcats, which pretty much set the pace for the 1st half. At one point, they were tied 8-8, but a few spins of the wheel had a rollergirl from each team fighting for crowd approval. I believe one was a pillow fight, which got pretty ugly. Hellcats, hands down, won that one. Cowgirls lost a point. The other spin, which saw 1 girl from each team take a lap with the other girl trying to stop her, went by audience to the Hellcats, losing another Cowgirl point.

Both teams were strong, but the Hellcats managed to hold an average 3 point lead over the Cowgirls during most of the 1st half. Unfortunately, my memory sucks. At the time, I was reciting jams & scores in my head, telling hubby to help me remember the particulars. But I also admitted that I'd never be able to remember all this, & hubby's advice was to bring a notebook & pen next time. It looks like I'll probably have to cause it's now 4 days later & my recall is totally gone. I know, I know... I suck.

I have to admit though, not all of it is entirely my fault. The Hellcat uniforms are designed with a large back patch in the middle with the name & number of the player in smallish black lettering around the patch all on hot pink fabric. So it was almost impossible to tell who was who. (I even asked people around me as well as my hubby, who has perfect vision, & no one could help.) Also, there seems to be a lack of speakers for the sound system around the west part of the track. From the south end of the track, I could hear fine while I was walking around. But from our seats, it sounded like...
"Blah-blah-blah-blah, Hellllllcaaaaaats! Blah-blah-blah-blah, Rhinestone Cowwww-blahs."

The crowd is pretty loud, so it muffled a lot of the sound. (Also the girl spinning the wheel is barely audible.) Usually, I had to watch the scoreboard closely to tell what was going on.

During the 1st quarter, hubby Jordon got pics with Chola & the Hellcats mascot. Somehow, that ignited a fire under his ass & suddenly, he was the roving reporter. lol. He had a lot of fun doing it & seems to be getting into my whole blog project.

When half-time started, I began walking around. I ran into Lux again at the restrooms. She was talking to a little girl in front of me, who was all decked out in Cowgirls colors. I managed to shake Lux's hand & chat her up for a minute. She was very nice. I caught the band, which rocked. I ended up behind General Lee Fiesty walking through the crowd. I tapped her on the shoulder & wished her luck, saying they were doing an awesome job.

Then around this time, I ended up spotting Miss Conduct in front of me. She was working, seeming to be checking that trash cans weren't full & beer stations were okay. Ms Thang is tiny but quick. I had to mall walk to catch up to her. It was funny cause I zipped right by my seated hubby fast & waved as I tried to catch up to Miss Conduct. He just laughed at me. She was so sweet & totally down for a photo with me. As I mentioned in my last post, a guy came up wanting a photo & she happily chirped, "Girls first!" Then she literally hugged me by the neck all gung-ho style & posed. She was pretty awesome.

As half-time wore on, I happened to catch sight of an AFD guy hanging out watching the crowd. (Pay attention here cause nobody has this info.) Now my hubby was a volunteer firefighter back in the day, so I've always been supportive of firefighters. (It takes a special type of person to throw him/herself into the life & death situations these people face.)

So I go over to talk to Joe, as it turns out. I told him about the blog & asked him if I could ask him a few questions. He was very nice & agreed. Actually, he mentioned that most people wouldn't really talk to him or they'd leave the area that he'd enter, so he was happy to chat with someone who would give him the time of day. (I told him that most people probably took 1 look at the badge & scattered. He laughed & agreed that was probably true.)

So here is the informal AFD guy interview I did (everything is paraphrased):

1. There's a noticably stronger presence of AFD here, much stronger than the last bout. What's the reason for it?
~ He said they're at all the bouts, but since it's a new venue, a lot of the wrinkles are still being ironed out. They are there to make sure everything is in compliance & the safety of the crowd is maintained.

2. I asked if there had been any problems thus far. Had TXRD's management been in compliance? Were there any problems with fire codes?
~ He said no, the Lonestar Rollergirls organization has been working very well with them. There have been no problems with management. The requests that have been made by AFD have been met and/or exceeded by TXRD.

3. What is maximum capacity for the venue?
~ They don't know yet. That is one of the things they are still working out.

That was pretty much all that I asked him. He did mention that a lot of the AFD guys were pretty big fans. Many of them had been at the old Thunderdome on duty & had become fans of the sport. He also mentioned how much he liked the new venue, stating that the old venue was horribly uncomfortable in the summer since it had no A/C.

He was a really cool guy. When I mentioned that my hubby was VFD years ago, he walked over & shook his hand. They chatted a little about fire stuff. He made sure to ask me what I thought of the crowd & venue. I told him I thought TXRD was doing a great job & that every time I come I noticed changes & improvements. I did mention that the size of the crowd seems to vary from one match to the next, which was why I asked what capacity officially was. He could only shrug his shoulders & say that they are still trying to figure out how many people the venue can accomodate safely. After shaking hands, we parted ways.

At the time, I didn't realize how important the conversation was. Currently, the 2/26/06 bout has been, for lack of a better term, "shut down" until further notice. As per the TXRD message boards, the problem is not with the TXRD organization itself not being in compliance, but with the building owner.

This whole thing is just very curious because the AFD guy I spoke with had nothing but good things to say about the Lonestar Rollergirls & the TXRD management, even mentioning that TXRD was always cooperative & had met any change AFD had asked of them. From what I had gotten out of the conversation, AFD in general seemed pretty supportive of Austin Roller Derby. So I think the problem is that the building owner is just not up to code or something to host the amount of crowds the Lonestar Rollergirls draw. You have to remember that prior to TXRD relocation to this particular venue, the biggest event to happen there on a regular basis is a flea market. But I'll keep a watch out on this & report if I find out anything. (TXRD states the 2/26/06 bout will be rescheduled if need be.)

Before half-time was thru, we took pics with Redd Foxxie, who was very nice. I also got a photo with Bones, the newest Puta. We met a lot of people around us, all of whom were really nice.

The 2nd half of the bout was pretty intense. I have to admit that I didn't pay as much attention the 2nd half. I got distracted cause I was a little tipsy by this point & chatting with people around me. The 2nd half flew by & suddenly, it was over. In the end, the Hellcats weren't able to hold off the Rhinestone Cowgirls. The final score was 65-57 Cowgirls.

We really had a great time at this bout. I hope that everything gets worked out so the next bouts can go on as scheduled. But with the TXRD bout on 2/26/06 on hold, it looks like the next Austin Roller Derby taking place will probably be the Texas Rollergirls season opener on 3/5/06. I'll definitely be there.

2/12/06 Bout Pics: "It's Pose-tastic!!!"

Don't fuck with Miss Conduct. She will put you in a head lock...& that's just when she's being NICE. [grin]

So if you remember, the last bout was laced with several missed photo opportunities & really bad track action shots. Well, I was able to make up for that in this week's bout...somewhat. I got several posed pics with various people, however the track action pics were even WORSE this week, which is really frustrating. I friggin' hate cardboard cameras, but they are the only thing TXRD is currently letting in the venue, so what can I do.

But I'm just thankful they're letting in cameras in some form or another. I mean, shit like this is just too precious to miss out on...

The Hellcats & Rhinestone Cowgirls had a really close game. The whole thing was a much different experience from the Puta/Rollers bout 2 weeks ago. I'll do a full Bout Review about it very soon because I have a lot of stuff to dish about. So for now, just enjoy the pics.

This was the very 1st posed shot of the evening. We saw Chola several times cause she constantly floated from one busy errand to the next. I happened to catch site of her during the 1st half. She was standing, literally, on the t-shirt booth watching the game very intently. (So if you are wondering about the odd camera angle, that's why.) I point her out to my hubby, who immediately runs over to ask for a pic. She was cool about it, quickly posing & busting out a Puta sign.

The guy being sandwiched by these two Hellcats is my hubby, Jordon. By this time, J was running around like a crazy person with my $10 camera. (He had the fever!) The Hellcat mascots were very cool & very in character. I think J said some growling was involved, but he's a nut too so he just flowed with it, as you can tell.

The White Ghost Shivers were awesome. At one point, Lux was out there dancing along with a crowd of people. Check out their website for some videos. If you like old style ragtime, hillbilly-rockabilly, then they are probably right up your alley.

During half-time, I was walking back to my seat after checking out the Shivers for a little while. Then I realize that I'm walking like 10 feet behind Miss Conduct. And for a little petite thing, she fucking books it. I finally caught up to her & asked for a pic. She was like, "Of course, sure!!!" So while I'm pushing the button for the flash to come on, some guy comes up & wants her pic too. She says, (I love her for this), "Girls First!!!" I thrust my cam at the guy while Miss C grabs me by the neck & we thrust our devil horns out there like, "FUCK, YEAH...grrrrr!" It was so fun! She's a freakin' HOOT! Totally loved her. And in my excitement, I totally grabbed my camera from said guy & ran off, not even bothering to return the favor. I'm such a bitch....lol. (Plus by this time, Jordon was starting to gloat that he was getting much better pics than I was. So I had to sprint back & thumb my nose at him.....yeah, so I'm competitive.) :oÞ

I saw Redd Foxxie close to where we were sitting, so I dragged my hubby over with me & asked for a pic. Her boyfriend, I think, was the one who actually took the picture. They were both really cool about it & very friendly. Her bf actually took two pics, thank goodness, because I looked like I'd been smoking a little Sister Mary Jane in the first pic. And just because I do have a sense of humor about myself, I'll share my cheesetastic moment with you good people, (you could probably use the laugh anyway). Click if you dare...


My last posed pic of the evening is with Bones, one of the newest Putas. Apparently, I have a knack for ending up about 5 paces behind a random rollergirl out of nowhere. It happened with Miss Conduct, General Lee Fiesty, Honey Homicide, Lux, and Bones. I just happened to have camera on hand when I ended up behind Bones. I asked for a pic & she was very cool to do so. I attempted a hasty pic myself, which resulted in a nice shot of Bones. I, on the other hand, look like I got beat up. The flash is doing some crazy things with my face...I think my finger got in the way or something. Anyway, I also congratulated her on the big win against the Holy Rollers 2 weeks before.

Action Shots

I'm not sure what 1/2 of this stuff is. Jordon was my "man on the scene". (I think he was having fun playing reporter.) So he took most of these. I had to do a lot of photo fixing just to make them "viewable". (You should have seen them before I "fixed" them.) But here they are...see if you can make sense of them. These are in order taken, starting with Skater Intros.

1st Half:







2nd Half:





And finally.....just because we're total dorks...here are our before & after photos.

Before Lonestar:

After Lonestar:

Cowgirls Win...65 to 57 over the Hellcats

Or something like that. I admit it...I'm a bit drunk on Lonestar Tallgirls at the moment. The Hellcats dominated the 1st half, then the Rhinestone Cowgirls took over the 2nd half.

Pics to come....hubby was roving reporter. He got some front line pics as well as a cool Chola pic. (I'm a big fan so hubby was all about pleasing....bless him.) However, I trumped him with my Ms. Conduct pic. And we got some other really cool personal pics.

Must...post....soon....

Dust Devil 2006 - 1st National Flat Track Tournament

This is your 2 week warning, guys! If you are in the Arizona area, or can afford to be, then you simply MUST check this out:

What: Dust Devil 2006 National Championship
When: February 24-26, 2006
Where: Tucson, Arizona

Three days and nights of Flat Track competition among nearly 30 leagues from across the nation. On February 26, the last day of the tournament, 1 league will drag its bloody, beaten, bruised, broken self around the track to claim their crown as the first champions of Flat Track Derby.

(Meet the Team that will represent the Texas Rollergirls at Dust Devil 2006.)

Leagues participating in Dust Devil 2006:

Arizona Roller Derby
Assassination City Derby
Atlanta Rollergirls
B.ay A.rea D.erby Girls
Carolina Roller Derby
Dallas Derby Devils
Duke City Derby
Gotham Girls Roller Derby
Houston Roller Derby
Kansas City Roller Warriors
Mad Rollin' Dolls
Minnesota Rollergirls
Providence Roller Derby
Rat City Rollergirls
Rocky Mountain Rollergirls
Rose City Rollers
Sin City Rollergirls
Texas Rollergirls
Windy City Rollers
and, of course, Tucson Roller Derby!

1/29/06 Bout Review: Oh SMJ, Where Art Thou?

The Putas Del Fuego vs Holy Rollers bout on Sunday was awesome. I left the Thunderdome with 2 certainties...
1. The Putas really have their shit together & are a definite threat for the Cavello Cup this year.
2. The Holy Rollers are going through a "rebuilding year".

First, I have to say, that I'm a big fan of all the roller derby teams & leagues here in Austin. I think these girls are great & I love what they are doing. I am a bit partial to the Putas, but I was also rooting on the Rollers. They're sort of the team everyone loves to hate, & I like them for just that reason. And even though they might be crowd underdogs, the Rollers can usually prove their shit out on the track.

However, the Rollers were, (for lack of a better term), handicapped since some of their key players weren't skating. Sister Mary Jane (SMJ) has moved off to Hawaii. (Jailbait has also moved off to Colorado to persue her Masters Degree.) And crowd favorites Ms.Conduct & Punky Bruiser, both present to root their team on from the pits, are currently both benched due to injuries. (Both girls had a knee wrapped/braced.) It was obvious that some alternates & new Rollers had been thrown into the mix. And I'm not sure what the problem was, (the missing skaters, the new & alternate skaters, team chemistry, not enough practices as shown in the A&E show, or what), but the former championship & hard-to-beat team was just not on par with the Putas on this night. ALL of the Rollers put a lot of blood, sweat & tears into the bout, yet it just wasn't enough to hold off the Putas.

But let me start from the beginning....

I bought my tickets the Thursday before the bout. Big Mistake! Here is a big tip for all that are thinking of attending a Lonestar Rollergirl match:

~ Buy tickets WELL in advance!!!!! ~

Doors open at 6pm. At about 6:10, at least 50 people started leaving the well formed line because door tickets were almost sold out. I had "Well Call" tickets, meaning I had bought my tickets online & was picking them up at the door because there wasn't enough time to mail them to me. Unfortunately, most people had Well Call tickets.

Basically, there are 3 lines: Door tickets, Well Call, & Ticket-in-Hand. The ticket-in-hand people just flew through the line. Door ticket people just had to stand there, desperately hoping that they could score a ticket. Well Call people, like myself, had a hell of a wait in line. Even though I arrived before doors were open, we stood in line for a good hour before finally getting into the venue. And let me also mention that these aren't well formed lines. It's sort of like cattle all forming into a building with everyone wondering if they are in the right line until they get about 25 feet from the actual entrance.

This is a known problem of which the Lonestar organization is well aware. After the 1st bout on 1/15/06, an email was sent out saying they are trying to better organize the entrance. It was just kind of insane though & I'm positve more can be done to help things...more signs, roped off lines, something. However, I learned my lesson...buy in advance & have ticket in hand.

So by the time I got into the Thunderdome, every seat in the stands was taken. It was standing room only, and standing room sucked. There were a few rows of platforms for people to stand on, but there were a lot of people at floor level who couldn't see shit. Myself included. I'm all of 5'4", & I was behind about 4 guys who were much taller than me.

But I was a trooper. I didn't bitch. I said fuck it, grabbed a Lonestar beer, (another long line), & found a decent place to stand.....considering.

Oh yeah....I forgot to mention that I met Catalac, who was working the Will Call line. Funny how small a world it is. I happen to know Catalac's man Alf. Not very well, mind you. My hubby knows him better than I do. But we all went to the same high school about 2 hrs from Austin & are friends with a lot of the same people, so we're well acquainted. (He used to throw a mean annual Halloween party back in the day...that's all I'm saying.) Anyhoo, while I was waiting for my hubby & brother to get ID-ed & wrist bands, I chatted up Catalac. I mentioned that I knew Alf, asking if they were married now. (I won't talk about any personal lives & shit cause that's not my blog goal here. If I were a total bitch, I could, but that's just not me. I'm more of a mini-bitch, not full-fledged.) She was nice, but since she was working the door, I didn't want to ask her to pose for a picture with me. I had a full roll of film at that point, but I blew it off, figuring I'd have plenty of photo ops. This was before I got inside & realized there was ZERO seating. Looking back, I should have been rude & asked. She was nice enough to probably be a good sport about it. (And it would have been an awesome addition to the blog.) But oh well.

The last thing I'll say about the crowd & seating situation is just because fire code says you can pack so many people inside, doesn't mean you should. They need to expand the new digs. There, I said it.

After raffle give-aways, (ANOTHER good reason to have ticket-in-hand...they only raffle prizes away by the last 3 numbers on your ticket, which is no good to people who have online order #s), sk8er introductions ensued. The Putas took the track first, followed by the Rollers.

It was about this time that I developed my "Master Half-Time Plan". I figured that I'd pretty much blow the 1st half off, since I couldn't see shit or take a decent picture anyhow. (Besides, things usually get crazy in the 2nd half.) I could go & grab some more beer, hit the smoking section or bathrooms, & just walk around & mingle the 1st half, returning to my place next to my hubby before the end of the 2nd quarter. Then, as people standing in front of me left their spots to hit the bathrooms, get beer or food, or check out the half-time band, I could work my way up to the front. And it actually worked! Muahahaha! I ended up in the front just behind some guy who was slightly shorter than me. (Thank goodness I wore my chunky heeled shoes so I was taller!)

So I checked out the 1st quarter, then spent most of the 2nd quarter doing my own thing. My only mistake was leaving my camera with my hubby....in case something happened on the track while I wondered off. Big mistake...HUGE! While I was gone, Jenacide got injured RIGHT IN FRONT OF WHERE WE WERE STANDING. I have no idea what happened or how it happened. All I know is that she was treated by paramedics & helped off the track, not to be seen for the rest of the bout. And of course hubby got *NO* pics of this entire scene that was happening right in front of him.

Hubby thought Jenacide either severly sprained or broke her ankle. A check at the Lonestar Rollergirls Message Board last night confirmed that Jena fractured her leg. Much love to Jenacide. I hope she gets better soon.

Meanwhile, as all this was going on, I'm smoking a ciggie & hitting the Ladies (bathroom that is). BTW, on my way out to the smoking section, I saw Chola's Dad. He walked by so fast that it took me a minute to place him. Now, if you're counting, this is my 2nd lost photo op. I have GOT to get better at this. I'm usually a bit shy around people I don't know. I need to learn to just ask for a pic. The worse they can say is No. Big deal. But it would be awesome to have these pics I missed out on to share in my blog. Agggghhhhh.

So then I hit the beer line, where I was standing behind, none other than, CLOWNSNACK! She was waiting in line, with the rest of us slobs, for her beer. Some guy chats her up, & me, being the nosey bitch that I am, overhear him calling her Clownsnack. Guy leaves, she turns my way, so I start talking to her.

1st, Clownsnack was *really* fucking nice. She was totally cool with me, (especially since it was completely friggin obvious I was eavesdropping) & she immediately asked my name & shook my hand. She asked me some random questions, such as if I was going to the Valentine's bout (in which she'll be skating). I am. She also asked if I had been to their new venue before. (FYI, the Thunderdome moved from central Austin to the Crocket Center, which is more North & thus more convenient to me. Wahoo!) I hadn't. So she goes on to explain how much more she digs the new place. She also mentions that they're talking about making the venue "bigger" by pushing back the wall.

If you don't know, the Crocket Center is a big warehouse type building, which they currently have cut in half by a wall in order to hold 2 functions at once. (On Sunday, the other half the center had a flea market going on.) I suspect the Lonestar Rollergirls side brings more $$$ in than anything the other side could offer.

So what does it mean that they are trying to expand the Thunderdome area? (Keep in mind that this is only the 2nd bout held in the new venue thus far & already they are talking expansion.) The 1st thing I could think of was that perhaps A&E was coming back to film in 2006. If they plan on filming again this year, they are definitely going to need more space. The crowd was sort of a madhouse & I suspect it might appear badly on film. And they probably need more power....but I'll get to that issue later. Also, they MUST be making some bank & needing more room. (The Lonestar's hold 2 bouts per month at $15 per head....and they are literally turning people away in droves.) The impression I'm getting is that the demand is growing faster than management can supply. But that's just my humble opinion.

But back to Clownsnack. She was really friendly & totally sweet. Not to mention very cute. TV just doesn't do her justice. She had her short hair in low pigtails with a beanie hat on. She looked like she was trying to be slightly incognito, but it wasn't working out. With her little pixie nose & hazel eyes, she looked down right elven. Anyway, I totally dug her. She was cool.

Of course half way through this conversation, I start digging through my purse for my camera. I'm totally ready to finally ask someone to pose for a photo with me...if only I can find my friggin' camera. Where is the damn thing? With my damn hubby where I left it!!!!!!!

While he's watching the game, (not taking a single picture I might add), I'm standing there talking to Clownsnack & kicking myself the entire time for abandoning my camera. So if you're keeping count, that's THREE perfectly good yet missed photo ops. AHHHHHHHH! After I got my beers, I found my hubby & whined, but with only a bare minimum of pouting. :o)

During the half, the band Maneja Beto played a mix of covers & some pretty kickin' original songs. The Putas were well ahead by this point, by at least a good 20+ points.

Then the 2nd half started. The Holy Rollers did what they could against the Putas, but the Putas nearly shut them out of the bout. I was completely blown away by Smarty Pants. She is one skater that, in the TV show, I think is totally under rated. She's an awesome jammer. On the Puta side, Chingona was a stand out as jammer. However, Chola really stole the show.

At some point in the 3rd quarter I believe, the power completely shut off. The building lights were working, but the DJ booth, scoreboard, announcer's booth, & all the extra lights/fans/etc completely went dark. But the bout kept going, regardless. There were about 3 jams done in near darkness. But after they fixed a fuse or flipped a breaker, everything came back on & resumed.

The Putas just did a number on the Rollers. And even though the Rollers were down, they still fought hard for it. There were a lot of crashes, penalties & points scored. From what I could see, Chola (Goddess Bless her) put down a number of Rollers. She jammed a considerable amount of times & got called out for a number of questionable moves. I saw her bring down at least 2 Rollers, one of which was great because it was so obvious & she shrugged her shoulders & was like, "What? What did I do?" I think she got the penalty wheel for that one.

See, you gotta understand. I had a few beers & was stuck in a floor crowd. It's not like I could take notes. Some of the pics I took of the action, to help the memory, were just black....especially stuff that didn't happen in front of me. Roller Derby is fast & hard. The only real time-outs & breaks are taken for 1) penalties & 2) major injuries. And as a fan, you don't want either to happen, especially the later. So it's a bit hard to recall the play-by-play action. Even with the announcers doing their play-by-play shit, from where I was standing, it was hard to even hear them over the crowd.

So unfortunately, I can't offer a detailed report of the action. (Although, I am looking into buying a tiny tape recorder to help with this for future bouts.) This was the 1st bout I was covering for the blog, so obviously my sports reporting skills need some work. But I am happy to report that yours truly has already ordered tickets for the next bout, which I'm expecting any day now in the mail. So this time, I'm going to have my ticket-in-hand & hopefully sail through the line. I'm also going to show up as early as possible so I can get a good spot in line. I'm determined to get a decent seat.

The penalties I did see, from a distance, were Cha-Cha having a pillow fight, that got ugly, & Chola have a long jump. The Putas always won when the vote of winner was up to the audience. It hurt the Holy Rollers because every time they lost the crowd vote, especially with the last penalty long jump vote, they lost a point. The final score would have been 83-40, except the Rollers lost the crowd vote for skating long jump. So the final score was 83 to 39.

It was a good victory for the Putas. If you've watched the A&E show, then you know how much it hurt the Putas when they lost to the Rollers & got shut out of the championship bout.

The Texas Rollergirls Rock!

I'd like to thank the Texas Rollergirls for being so kind to me & surprisingly supportive of my blog. (I have to admit I was wondering if actual rollergirls would react warmly to it or if they'd get restraining orders....lol.) I never realized that after one simple phone call to the radio that within 2 days I'd have 4 different rollergirls personally emailing me or commenting on the blog. (I'll have to cuss on the radio more often.) 2 rollergirls have actually encouraged me to put some skates on & try out.

(Excuse me while I change my panties.)

And they've all just been super cool. I've gotten a super secret tip about a super secret thing, (which I'm bursting at the seams to blog about but promised NOT to until it is officially announced....and I'm a woman of my word, thank you very much). I also got an ok from one of the ladies to do an informal interview for the blog. YEEESSSSS! I'm hoping that this will be the start of a new monthly blog feature... "20 Questions with a Rollergirl". How cool would that be!

And I think one of the rollergirls has shared my blog address with others in the league cause literally my web hits have DOUBLED overnight. (It's the little blog that could, ya'll.) I mean seriously...check this out. (Click on the chart for larger view.)
So this is just a HUGE THANK YOU to all the Texas Rollergirls, especially Melicious, Dirty Deeds, Apocalippz, & Cheap Trixie. You've all just totally made my year. I'll definitely be seeing you all March 5th.

Texas Rollergirls Radio Mini-Summary

Okay, if you missed it, I have to admit I'm a tad grateful. The Texas Rollergirls were awesome. I was a friggin' train wreck waiting to happen. That's nothing unusual cause I'm always sticking my foot in my mouth. I've just never called into a radio show to do it. Basically, I'm expecting a call from the FCC any moment.

According to the website, Misty Meaner, Sparkle Plenty, Dirty Deeds, & Melicious were all appearing on the program. It was hard to tell who was who though because on the radio, people always seem to speak over one another. Mel was the general spokesperson, which makes sense cause she's created a very impressive career for herself in PR, journalism, & marketing...& does it quite well I might add. (i.e. She's probably never dropped the F-Bomb on radio in her life. Ahem.)

So here's the gist of the radio spot (paraphrased):

The show hosts were sad to learn that during roller derby, rollergirls DO wear clothes (non-bikini wear) & do not kiss. Also, there is no naked pillow fighting. (Pervs....lol)

Several times, the ladies were asked the difference between flat-track & banked-track roller derby. The answers are as follows:
~ 40+ leagues across the country are all flat-track leagues, making it a national phenomenon readily available to any girl in Anytown, USA.
~ All potential & existing teams have access to flat-tracks (i.e. your local skating rink, with limited modifications)
~ Because there are so many existing flat-tracks across the USA, the opportunity for interstate tournaments is far greater. (For example: Tucson Roller Derby is hosting the very 1st interstate tournament between 20 Roller Derby leagues from across the country, including the Texas Rollergirls.
~ Banked tracks are expensive to buy & costly to maintain. And from the sound of it, you need to employ roadies to take it apart & move it someplace else. In other words, they have limited mobility & high cost, to say the least.

Have the girls watched the A&E "Rollergirl" series? No. There is league practice on all Monday nights.

This is the BEST question/answer of the whole interview:
~ Why aren't the Texas Rollergirls on TV?
~ Actually, the Texas Rollergirls were offered the A&E show FIRST. They turned it down because of the terms. They want to be apart of a reality series that focuses on Roller Derby, the sport they love, not airing their personal lives & dirty laundry while being followed around by cameras 24/7. Basically, they just want to promote & advance their sport & the A&E show seemed to rely heavily on using personal dramas as a central theme. So they passed. (For the record, I totally respect that.) This is something I bitched about it my review of the 1st episode. The actual roller derby is almost an afterthought the very last 10 mins of the show. And BTW, it sounded like they are still trying to work out a tv project of their own.

Melicious is writing a book based on flat-track Roller Derby.

Sparkle Plenty didn't skate as a kid, like most rollergirls. She learned as an adult. And it takes several years of skating to be on par with the level of Roller Derby skating. (damn.)

For the record, SKATES not blades.

Why not blades, you ask? Cause rollerblades don't take hits well. 4 wheel skates offer better stability than a single row of blades.

Tomorrow morning, the Texas Rollergirls will be on the Today Show (NBC). Bob Dotson, a very famous journalist, interviewed Hydra as well as followed her to work. (Mel is also interviewed.)

There is about 1100 people who attend their bouts/events. They've done a lot of work to expand Playland Skate Center, their current headquarters, in order to accommodate their large crowd.

And so this is right about the time where I enter the picture. I conjure up a pretty decent question,("In 5 years, where would you like to see the sport?"), & I call up the station. So I'm on hold. And I'm listening to the live broadcast (sans delay). I have to turn off my radio, because it's like an evil echo when you're actually on the phone with them.

Did I mention that I've never called live radio before?

So, I intro myself, say I'm a big fan. I mention that I feel lucky to live in Austin where there are 2 Rollergirl leagues & end up mentioning that I have a blog about it all. Verbal Diarrhea. Totally.

Well, Mel calls me out & actually invites me to plug the blog. Well, fudge. I'm not a pro....I'm winging this chicken. I don't know what the addy is. This blog is only a month old...maybe. So I'm thinking "Blogger! I log into blogger.com" Rational thinking, right? Wrong. I never realized this before, but if you log into blogger.com, you end up at blogspot.com. Cool, huh. Well, not if you are on the radio nervously plugging your blog.

So I give out texasrollergirls.BLOGGER.com, instead of BLOGSPOT.com. Total fubar.

"Would you like to be a rollergirl?" Well, yeah...if I could learn to skate like they do.

While I'm thinking about what I've said & what I'm going to say, (I'm babbling at this point), one of the hosts asks me the following:

"What do you think is tougher...flat or banked track?"

I thought about it for a second, then answered in the only way I could. Yes, folks, I spoke Nascar.

My love for Nascar isn't any different than roller derby. They both go around in circles & go really fast, trying to wreck each other out in the process. And both take a lot of skill & dedication, which outsiders & non-fans can never seem to realize. And since I was calling an ESPN show, I put my answer in terms they might understand. Witb all their naked, pillow fighting questions, the hosts didn't seem to get that this IS a sport. Enter my big mouth. I figured that the hosts, as well as the largely male audience listening, might understand things in terms of Nascar.

"I think flat track is tougher. With a banked track, it's like riding around Talladega [a 32 degree banked track]. It's easy to get around using your own momentum once you get up to speed. But when you're going around a flat-track like, say Martinsville, you have to use more skill & power to get around it."

Did anyone understand it? I have no idea. But I was still ok by this point. Then Mel answers my question. My inner dialog went something like, "What question? Damn, I forgot. Oh yeah, where in 5 years...."

She gave the best answer ever. (Why is it the best? Cause I never thought of it in those terms, of course!)

In 5 years, there should be a NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP. This means, there should be a national league with playoffs for the top leagues that eventually lead to a USA Championship Team, just like they do with football, basketball, & any other sport.

Can you imagine? I couldn't either. I expected "a new venue" kind of answer, etc. but the thought of a USA Championship got me seriously thinking. Once I started thinking outside of Austin, I totally got it. I firmly believe that in 5 years, women's roller derby will be to the 2010's like skateboarding/X-Games were to the 90's. (Bless Tony Hawk! Us girls are still looking for OUR Tony to elevate the sport to that next level. I'm betting she's here in Austin too.)

Okay, next question. It's goes down hill from here.....
"Do you have a crush on any of the rollergirls?"

Ok, these are male radio hosts on a sports channel appealing to a male audience. So I answer the best & honest way I can. "I have a crush on all the girls! I think they are FUCKING awesome."

Cheers all around. Then I hear....
Co-host: "Did you just drop the F-bomb?"

Oh fuck yeah I did. I apologized. I have no idea if they were able to bleep it out or not. Flustered, I sort of tapped out after that. And the radio station disconnected my call quickly afterwards. I was radio poo-poo. Not only that, but radio poop with a bad blog address. I was kicking myself for like an hour afterwards. My hubby couldn't stop laughing at me.

Oh My God.....I dropped the F bomb on radio

I called in. Asked a decent question. Got all nervous for some reason. Then dropped the Fuck bomb.

Worse yet, I told how much I was a fan & that I had a blog. Then was given the opportunity to plug the blog & gave the completely wrong address. I said texasrollergirls.BLOGGER.com instead of BLOGSPOT.com.

Fuck me.

Texas Rollergirls on Radio in 10 mins

If you're in Austin, turn your AM dial to 1260 or 1530 ESPN radio. They're talking about pot right now (odd considering it's a sports channel), but the Texas Rollergirls are there in the lobby & will be on around 5pm central time.

I'll be listening & taking notes. Expect a summary post later this evening for all those who missed it.

Texas Rollergirls News

Well, the Texas Rollergirls are still off season, but they are all busy as hell. Catch them on ESPN radio and NBC's Today Show on TV over the next 48 hours.

FYI...this is Austin's flat-track Rock-n-Roller Derby team. NOT the Lonestar Rollergirls you see on the A&E show.

~~~ From the Texas Rollergirls Newsletter ~~~

QUEENS OF ALL MEDIA
We've got two exciting media appearances this week -- ESPN radio and the Today show on NBC -- and new podcasts!

Tuesday afternoon (1/31) from 4:30 until they kick 'em off the air, four of your favorite Texas Rollergirls will chat it up with Gregg Henson and Dave Tepper on ESPN Radio 1530/1260 AM. Don't miss Misty Meaner, Sparkle Plenty, Dirty Deeds, and Melicious on "The Show With No Name." You never know what these girls might say when they get their turn to rock the mic!

Then Wednesday morning, February 1, your Texas Rollergirls will be featured on the Today show in an "American Stories" segment with legendary reporter Bob Dotson. (He's won Emmy and Edward R. Murrow Awards, y'all!) The NBC crew visited a Texas Rollergirls' practice, followed Hydra to work, and filmed our amazing bout against Tucson. In Austin, the Today show is on KXAN, Time-Warner channel 4, from 7:00-9:00 a.m. central time. Set your Tivo!

Check out the Texas Rollergirls' FREE podcasts! Just go to iTunes, select Music Store, then choose Podcast from "Choose Genre." Type "Roller Derby" in the search field on the left side of the screen and you'll get two Texas Rollergirls podcasts: our commercial featuring some of your favorite Hell Marys and Honky Tonk Heartbreakers, and a second podcast with highlights from our killer bout against Tucson. [http://www.apple.com/itunes/]

Special thanks to Punk Rock Phil for making the podcasts a reality!

Putas beat Holy Rollers: 83 to 39

Last nights bout between the Putas Del Fuego & the Holy Rollers was amazing. The Putas just steamrolled a handicapped Holy Roller team. And the results spoke for themselves. This battle was not even close. The Putas spanked, quite literally, the Rollers by 44 points.



All of my shitty, grainy pictures are below. Just FYI, if you see the Lonestar Rollergirls live, you can only bring in a disposable camera. I bought the best disposable camera I could find, but it still sucked. Out of 25 pics, only 15 are "clear" & "viewable"...with major PhotoShop editting. And out of those 15, there are only 2 or 3 pics that are "decent". And by "decent" I mean that they don't completely suck ass.

BTW, this post is nothing but pictures from last night. I'll be posting a complete summary about the match tomorrow.

Okay, so even though we bought tickets before hand, we waited in a long, fucked up line. (I'll rant about that tomorrow.) So by the time we got in, there were absolutely NO seats. And once we got a much needed Lonestar Beer, standing room only was absolutely fucking miserable. But we're troopers, so we just went with it.

About 5 minutes into the skater introductions, I developed my "Master Half-Time Plan". I figured that once the 1st half was over, everyone would dash for beer, bathrooms & the smoking section during the break. And as people abandoned their posts, I'd sneak up to the front. Mua-ha-ha-ha! And it worked for the most part. Instead of standing behind 4 assholes, I ended up behind only 1 really short guy. So I saved most of my film for the 2nd half. Besides...the 2nd half is usually when it gets all nuts anyway.

The only thing that absolutely SUCKED was that I met both Catalac AND Clownsnack but my dumb ass somehow managed not to get a single pic with either of them. DAMN IT! But I'll save those stories for tomorrow.

These are some of the very few pics I got of the beginning & 1st half:
The Putas line up for skater introductions. I believe Chola & Cha Cha went out 1st. This is Venis Envy waiting for her turn. Not sure who is behind her.

The blond at the very front is Jenacide, who either sprained or broke her ankle in the 2nd quarter & was out for the rest of the bout. The Puta facing the camera is Chingona, who was pretty awesome as a jammer. The girl behind her is a new Puta....Bones. I have absolutely no idea who is behind Bones, although it could be Punky Bruiser from the Holy Rollers, who was injured & was only there to support her team from the pits.

Next up for sk8er intros was the Holy Rollers. Out front is Smarty Pants, who really impressed the hell out of me. Next to her is Horrorshow, but I'll be damned if I can make out the 3rd girl. Mz. Behavin' maybe?

Okay, okay....I think I got it. From Right to Left, it's Smarty Pants, Horrorshow, Mz.Behavin', Helena Handbasket, & Axel Rosie. Lord only knows if that's right, but that's my story & I'm stickin' to it.

FUCK! More Holy Rollers I can't name right off the bat. (So sue me, I'm a Puta fan.) But no, I do like the Rollers. I was rooting for them both...especially once the Puta scoring went out of control. The Holy Rollers were really at a disadvantage with SMJ & Jailbait having moved off and Ms.Conduct & Punky on the benches with injuries.

I know, I know. Grainy as hell, but at least PhotoShop was able to "save it"...a little. At some point, I think maybe right before the 2nd half, Ms.Conduct walked up the track & got the crowd going.

See the scoreboard in the top right corner? This was somewhere in the 3rd quarter & already the Putas were just knockin' the Rollers around. Chola is the lead jammer. (It looks like the guy is pointing at her.) God that girl can fly around the track. She's is hands down my favorite. She's amazing to watch & she stole the show. When the crowd wasn't chanting "Putas, Putas!", they were screaming "Chola, Chola!"

I love this picture. Chola goes balls out when she's on the track. I don't know if you can see it, but that's a Holy Roller under Chola basically kneeing herself in the face. Look at the bigger version of the pic to see the detail.

This was a crash that happened around the 4th quarter that sent Chingona to the bottom of the track.

Repent! Repent to the Holy Rollers! And thou shalt be saved!

The Holy Rollers got no brakes all evening. Even though they were some 30 points behind, the Putas did what they could to keep the Rollers in the rail.

I think that is Heathen on the ground....just one of many nameless victims Chola left in her wake.

The game is over. Notice the scoreboard in the far right corner. Ouch! Cha Cha comes by for a victory lap. Damn railing! Would have been a nice shot if only that rail wasn't in the way. Ah, but wait...

...there we go. Thankfully, the girls took several victory laps...giving me enough time to push my way up front & finally get a decent shot.

And my very last picture of the evening. What is it of? I couldn't tell you. And this is WITH PhotoShops help. Hmmmm. I need to figure out a way to get my hands on one of their press passes.

Sunday Bout Update

Fuckin' A! I have tickets to this Sundays match up between the Holy Rollers & the Putas. (Viva las Putas!) It will be interesting to see how the Holy Rollers do with Sister Mary Jane being retired from the league. (I believe she moved away to Hawaii. Could you blame her?)

Next week, be looking for a game summary and PHOTOS! YESSSSS! Regular cameras aren't allowed into the venue, but disposable ones are. So I'll be arriving to the Thunderdome early in order to get good enough seats to get some decent pics with a crappy cardboard camera. Right On!

It should be an awesome match. Good luck to both teams. I'll definitely be rooting both teams on from the stands!

Holy Rollers vs. Putas Del Fuego

Okay, so the 2nd bout of the 2006 season is Sunday the 29th. And I think I'm definitely going. I'm going to attempt to buy tickets tonight. Wish me luck.

I wasn't able to go to the 1st bout on the 15th featuring Cherry Bombs vs. Hellcats. From what I understand, it was a good match with the Hellcats (I believe) winning by 3 points. It was a rough match though...

(From the TXRD message boards)
Post:
Lawbaby- Landed on her face and broke her nose. Cherry Bombs
Annie Afterparty- Lawbaby elbow blocked Annie and she was low or something, and she broke her nose. Hellcats
Varucca Assault- Cracked ribs, EMT popped them back in. Cherry Bombs
Sweetie Switchblade- Cracked ribs, nursing em back to health. Hellcats
Evilynn Incarnit- Kidney shaped bruise on her tookus (butt). Cherry Bombs

Another Post:
Actually.....
Annie Afterparty got her nose broken from Lawbaby elbowing her while throwning some punches in the bench-clearing brawl that happened in the first quarter.
Varuca Assault only dislocated her rib and the EMT's popped it back in.

WOW....sorry I missed that one. I hope all the girls are healing & okay. This Sunday's bout should be great though. I'm determined not to miss it.

Episode 1: The Rookie

*FYI: This is a fan review. It may be snarky at times, but it's all meant in good fun. Since this episode aired a 3+ week ago, I'm going from memory. So cut me some slack.

The 1st episode of Rollergirls did not disappoint. The viewers get an introduction to the sport of banked-track Roller Derby through the eyes of an up-and-coming rookie. Like all competitive sports, there are hot newcomers & 1st draft picks. And Venis Envy is clearly one of these. Even before her first match, people are already talking "Rookie of the Year" for Venis. But can she live up to her own hype? Especially against her idol, & one of the toughest women on the track, Lux?



Meet Venis Envy. She's an art grad who's been traveling from place to place with her boyfriend Palmer in an ancient RV they bought off Ebay. When they finally settled in Austin, Venis discovered the world of Rollergirls.

The feeling you get right off the bat is Venis is good. The expectations from her team & captain are pretty high. And at some point, Chola (I believe) mentions Venis went to the Putas Del Fuego (that's Whores of Fire to you gueros out there) in a 1st round draft pick. And as Venis' 1st bout grows closer, you can tell the pressure starts to get to her.

But thank goodness for Palmer, or Mr. Venis Envy. He seems very supportive as well as a really calm & laid back kind of fellow. Actually, I found myself staring at Palmer most of the time, trying to figure out who he reminded me of. I could tell you, but the visual is so much more entertaining.

Gotta love Palmer!

On the other side of the Venis fence, there is Lux. A seasoned pro, she is a mild mannered nurse by day and dart blowing champion by night. I'll tell you one thing. Lux & Witch Baby have some fucking TRUST going on, because I don't know if I would hold a piece of paper up on a wall while someone blew a freaking dart at the paper I was holding. But such are the girls of Rhinestone Cowgirls. They're tight like that. And when they aren't blowing darts, making sassy skirts, or doing each other's hair, well they are TP-ing people's houses of course.

But I have to say that one of my favorite parts is when Lux & Witch Baby go dancing at The Broken Spoke. For those of you who don't know, The Broken Spoke is like a big deal here in Austin. It is like THE original honky tonks here in Texas & one of the few that's been able to stay open for decades. It's been around for something like 40 years & everybody who's anybody has played there. Their memorabilia wall rivals that of anything in Nashville or Memphis. You get the idea.

So I was literally holding my sides, rolling on the floor, as Witch Baby turned, swished, & flared that skirt around as she danced around in literally nothing but her underwear. Not even underwear....thong panties. And all these little old ladies whispered & pointed at her, turning their heads & shielding their eyes as Witch Baby's bottom came into full view. Truly SCANDALOUS! Those old ladies are probably STILL talking about it. Meanwhile, the old men, like true country gentlemen, tried not to look....at least while their wives were watching.

We also get to know some of the Putas. Chola, PDF captain, shows off her tattoo that all the Putas get. What makes this tattoo stand out is that it's INSIDE HER FUCKING BOTTOM LIP! And just to make sure everyone knows just how tough these bitches are, they not only get it done once but TWICE! Because Putas like taking it more than once. hee hee

But seriously, the Putas are pretty fucking tough. As the team gets ready for a night on the town & searches frantically for a sitter for Cha Cha's little girl, we hear the story of Cha Cha & her boy toy. Apparently, Cha Cha picks up some smallish guy & literally throws him over her shoulder caveman style, almost bullying him to register for a date with the Putas. The guy, probably already freaked out enough, wins but is MIA from the actual date. (Go figure.) But fuck him...the Putas roll out in limo style for a team night out.

In between throwing back tequila shooters, the conversation takes a turn for the worst. Should rollergirls who leave the league be welcomed back in? I can only imagine that they are referring to Clownsnack's return (Episode 3). However, Chola feels like, basically, if you walk away from the sport, then you shouldn't be allowed to casually walk back in.

Well, this just DOES NOT sit well with Cha Cha, who explains that sometimes girls have a lot of things going on like family issues, problems, or injuries that force them to leave. Cha Cha goes on to talk about her own injury that forced her out of the game for a while & how it made her feel. Basically, according to Cha Cha, the girls are quickly replaced & forgotten in this sport.

After a much needed pee in an alley, (where are the Rhinestone Cowgirls with their TP when you need them), the girls go to a bar where they prove that here in Austin, if you are someone even mildly famous, you don't need to show any ID. (Can you say Bush Twins!) Chola is upset & personally offended that Cha Cha would think that her team abandoned her when she was injured. But Cha Cha doesn't mince words...if Chola's upset it's probably because she feels guilty about it. SNAP!

Meanwhile, Venis is already involved in her 1st rollergirl bout as ref between Chola & Cha Cha. Bring the peace, Venis! However, it's too little too late. Chola jams on out of there. Pissed, in more ways than one, Cha Cha takes off.....but not before she yells out some better Spanish than I could ever muster. And in a much better accent too. (Putas locas forever, ese.)

But forget the drama (for now), the big bout is coming up between the Putas & Rhinestones. Venis manages to get in some practice before her Mom shows up. And Momma has some nice digs too. As the two sip drinks at the downtown landmark Driskill Hotel, Venis works hard to get her mother onboard the rollergirl train. Showing off her inventive skill with sugar packets & salt-n-pepper shakers, Venis demonstrates how the game is played. Mom nods, but clearly seems puzzled by the whole thing. Are the salt & pepper shakers on the same team? Poor Momma. Mom was looking at her daughter as if she had lobsters crawling out of ears.

So now it's match time. Unfortunately, the show has covered so much other drama, we only have about 10 minutes (with commercials) to show actual Roller Derby. (Way to go, A&E.) Mom & Mr. Venis are sitting dutifully in the stands. And the A&E cameras make sure of that because they pan the audience every 5 seconds. I can hear the cameramen's conversation now...

Cameraman 1: "I mean seriously...who would want to watch actual Roller Derby?"
Cameraman 2: "I know. Come on, lets go get audience reaction instead."

But there are a few minutes of actual rollergirls doing their thing. Right out of the gate, Venis goes down on her very 1st jam. And that's when it started. Yes, folks, from that moment on our friend's skirt got pulled up in the fall & we were treated to her rollergirl bum hanging out the rest of the match. (At least she wasn't at The Broken Spoke...those people are still recovering.)

Then, with her skirt & bottom poised for action, the big moment arrives. It's Lux vs. Venis. Oh the drama of it all.

Venis actually proves her worth as star rookie by beating out one of the best jammers in the league for lead jammer. Momma & Palmer couldn't have been more proud as they jump excitedly in the stands.

Once the match is over, it's beer & tequila for all as the girls move to the after party bar. Lux & Venis bond, hug, & kiss each other's behinds as the reminisce over the match. Conveniently, Lux has forgotten who won when they faced off. Venis is quick to remind her. But no problem. Hugs all around. And Lux is voting Venis for Rookie of the Year.

All is right with the world again...until next week.

Rollergirls on KLBJ morning radio

So I happened to catch some of the Lonestar Rollergirls on The Dudley & Bob Show the morning of 1/13/06. They were there plugging the A&E show as well as the 1st bout featuring the Cherry Bombs vs. Hellcats Sunday the 15th.

Sadly, it really wasn't all that interesting cause they wouldn't really give any juicy inside information. It was always, "Well, you'll just have to watch the show every Monday night."

But here's a few things the girls did mention...

• Clownsnack was there & talked a little about rejoining the league. (This was prior to her episode airing 1/16/06.) The AM guys teased her because she was sitting across the room from the rest of the girls there. Is there still some tension where Clownsnack is concerned??? The girls wouldn't say...just nervous laughter.
  


• The girls wouldn't confirm or deny whether any of them got paid for appearing in any episodes. They DID say that A&E has become something of a sponsor to their league, which has helped them improve their sport.
  


• Will there be a 2nd season of Rollergirls on A&E? The girls wouldn't say anything other than A&E is not currently filming them at present time.
  

And that was pretty much the high points. They asked the girls some other stuff like "How was it being filmed?" however the girls gave real PC answers like "Great" or "I was nervous at 1st but..." Pretty stock stuff really.

Since there is a bout this Sunday the 29th featuring Putas Del Fuego vs. Holy Rollers, the Lonestar girls will hopefully be making the AM talk show rounds here in Austin. I'll be listening & I'll be sure to post a recap ASAP.

Updates Coming SOON!!!

Sorry, I've been super busy lately. I hosted a party on 1/21/06, so everything else just got put on the back burner. Lame, I know. But it couldn't be helped.

But never fear!

I've been working feverishly on updating the blog. I got a bunch of Rollergirl news comin' at ya including my snarky reviews of the 1st few shows. Better late than never right!

Welcome to the TxRG Blog

This blog was born just after the 2006 New Year. I've been absolutely fascinated by the Rollergirl phenomenon. And since I live in Austin, Texas, I thought it would be a great oppurtunity to get involved & blog about the Rollergirl culture here. Afterall, I feel sort of lucky to live in "Rollergirl Mecca" where there are 2 kick-ass roller derby teams, (one flat track, the other banked), that have been featured in the film documentary "Hell on Wheels" and now the A&E reality show Rollergirls.

Being born & mostly raised in Austin, I live here in the Texas Capital with my own family. Back in the 80's, I LIVED at the Roller Rink. Then I evolved into skateboards (& skaterboys...lol). However, I got back on skates again last year for the first time in over 15 years. (I just turned 30.) And I had so much fun, I've been hooked ever since. I am not a Rollergirl, but I would literally wet my panties at the oppurtunity to be one. Maybe with A LOT more practice, I may even try out someday. But in the meantime, I'll have to live vicariously through the tough skate bitches of Austin.

And in turn, you can live vicariously through me. I plan on attending as many matches & events that I can this season......with camera in hand. I'll update the blog with as up-to-date news as I can. I'll do a snarky recap after each Rollergirl episode. Basically, I hope to bring the very cool world of Austin Rollergirls to others who can't be here.

Check back often & take care.