Banked track Playoffs are here!!

Okay, so this is too bittersweet for me to handle...a double header rawks, but then that means the season is wrapping up...what's a girl to do? Enjoy it while it lasts, duh! ;0)  Å


2007 SEASON PLAYOFFS ARE HERE!

MAY 12 - SATURDAY - DOUBLE-HEADER - PLAYOFF BOUTS #1 & #2
The doors open at the Austin Convention Center at 5pm. There's a pre-bout band (TBA), and then the first bout starts at 6:30pm, pitting the Putas del Fuego against the Rhinestone Cowgirls! Honky will entertain you between the bouts, and at 8:30pm, the chaos starts all over as the Cherry Bombs go up against the Hellcats! Holy cow - two bouts? A double-header?How can I afford that? We're goin' old-school on ticket prices for this special event - only $15 for the whole shebang at the door or online, or $13 for a ticket from one of our vendors around town! This is the first double-header in TXRD history -don't miss out!

JUNE 9 - SATURDAY - PLAYOFF BOUT #3
Playoff bout #3 will take place at the Austin Convention Center on Saturday June 9th, but we can't tell you which teams will be in the bout. We don't know! It all depends on who wins the first two bouts in the playoff series. You can be the first to know the teams for playoff bout #3 by coming to the double-header on May 12th. Be there or be square!

JUNE 23 - SATURDAY - CALVELLO CUP CHAMPIONSHIP
History tells us that the last classical gunfight with cowboys an' all that good stuff happened way back in 1934 in a little corner of Texas called Hermleigh. Well, history is going to repeat itself in a bloody showdown on June 9th at the convention center as the winner of playoff bout #3 faces off against the Holy Rollers in the 2007 Calvello Cup Championship. The Holy Rollers beat the Putas on April 29 -- will they do it again? Who knows -- maybe the Hellcats or Cherry Bombs will take those rowdy schoolgirls down a few notches. And don't forget the dark horse in this race - the Rhinestone Cowgirls. One thing's for sure -- Austin will never be the same!

Rollers vs. Putas - be there!

WHAT: Holy Rollers vs. Putas del Fuego
WHEN: Sunday, April 29th, doors @ 6pm, bout @ 7pm
WHERE: Austin Convention Center, 500 East Cesar Chavez, Austin TX

Heaven versus Hell, spicy versus sweet - either way it's delectable destruction waiting to happen on Sunday, April 29 as the fiery Putas del Fuego take on the not-so-angelic Holy Rollers. The Putas have burned a ring of fire around the banked track of the Thunderdome since their Calvello Cup Championship last season. But it wasn't so long ago that the Holy Rollers were the biggest bullies on the block, and they remember a thing or two about ruling this school. Say your prayers and put on an extra layer of fire retardant long-johns - this is going to be one hot time in the old town!

Tickets are on sale at the door and on online for $15, or pick up an advance ticket for only $13 at one of our vendors around Austin. Git yer tickets now! Visit TXRD.com for all the details!






From what I understand, whoever wins this bout is automatically in the Cavello Cup, then the remaining teams will battle it out. So this bout is destined to be BADASS.

Peace out and Sk8 on! Your humble banked track editor, ÅnaRchy

Sudden Death is pretty. Cherry Bombs vs. Hellcats

DAMN. What A BOUT!

So, Sunday saw the second ‘ending-in-a-tie-sudden-death-jam’ of the season, and both of these sudden deaths involved the Cherry Bombs (1st was CB vs. PDF, PDF’s took it), but this time the BOMBs took it! The entire bout was neck and neck, with the Cherry Bombs leading for most, if not all of it, but the Hellcats were always within 5 points. The game ended tied at 22 and the Bombs put in Rocky, Hellcats put in Dixie Sanchez and due to a penalty they had to reskate the jam, talk about killing me with anticipation! Rocky took it, like I knew she would, but it was a tense couple of minutes. Can I just say that Rocky is “the shit” and I mean that with the utmost respect! She's da bomb! (pun fully intended.)

We had some great intros this time. The Bomb Squad did a great little number to “Scratch the Catbox” – very fitting and well performed! (Jasmine’s hair was kickass tonight too!) And of course, the Hellcats did something special too – Hollywood themed Rocky, with Annie Afterparty looking especially catty in full boxing gloves! The ladies skated out to the “Eye of the Tiger” and were each wearing boxing style robes. Loved it!

For the Cherry Bombs, we had Poly Urethane returning, she has a definite presence on the track, wearing her college hockey mask, full face guard and all...two words: tough lady. And an even bigger surprise: Mighty Aphrodite skating for the CHERRY BOMBS. You read right, that is NOT a typo!! She looked great in Ginjure Scraps uniform…maybe black and green are her colors? Hmmmm? Nope, I think she’s a Rhine through and through. Jamming wise we had some great skating for the Bombs by Rocky of course, and Evilyn Carnet – she’s sneaks through the pack like no one else!

For the Hellcats, Ruby Sioux dislocated her finger (it was literally sticking out in different directions – ouch!) so Titz McGee came to the rescue of the Hellcats. She has officially skated for each team this season, and if she can somehow make into the next bout, she will have skated in every bout this season. Talk about dedication! Titz came in black, prepared to throw on a green shirt or a pink shirt, depending on where she was needed. Ruby, we hope your finger is okay!

Skating wise, there was some hard ‘bitch-is-goin-down’ blocking going on, especially as the bout progressed. Tempers were flaring for sure. There weren’t too, too many fights, but the ones there were, were pretty intense. The Hellcats were hauling ass and playing pretty defensively, speeding the pack up to a crazy pace to keep the Bombs from scoring, which I think in the end just ended up exhausting everyone and frustrating the Cherry Bombs. But those kitties put up a helluva fight. I had actually predicted the Bombs by 8, and was proved wrong by those tough little pussies (can I say that? Well, I did.) Now, I’m not totally up on what’s what, but I could tell there was a lot of stuff that wasn’t getting called and it was pissing some skaters off! Blatant tripping, clothes lining, and high blocks were everywhere, but not too many calls it seemed. There were a couple of times I thought Jonny Stranger’s head was going to spin around, exorcist style…he survived, but did his clip board? That may be a different story.

This was also Cherry Chainsaw’s last in-season bout. I’m just a fan and am so sad to see her leave the track, so I can only imagine how the skaters feel! But lucky for them and us she’s still gonna be around, training and schooling these gals. I’m so glad I got to see her skate this season! Miss Chainsaw, ma’am, you will be missed on the track!

On the Turn Four Board Whore front, another friendly face has left us…Sloppy Boggins headed back on up north, where the summers are nice, you will be missed and better be back soon! But, we also had a visiting (well, 2 actually) whore: Chicago Jimmy (pleasure to meet ya!) & the Flat Hippy, V2.0. Flat Hippy has been to ATX some times before, but this time, he got to skate the entire bout hung around the lovely neck of Varuca Assault. (by 1/2 time I think he was causing some neck chaffing – those damn dirty hippies.) We also had a Flat Willy Callit stuck in the track for the bout in honor of our last turn four board whore that moved up and on to different things. I was actually there at the bout, but don’t feel as lucky as the “Flats” with their ‘rock-star’ status. Maybe I need to leave ATX during the next bout and see what kind of seat Flat ÅnaRchy can get! A spin around Sister Mary Jane's neck would be nice! ;0)

So even after the bout, the entertainment continued. Mustang Sally took on a good buddy in a different type of wrestling match – he was on skates and she wasn’t. Is it me or is that backwards? Shouldn’t Mustang be the one rollin’? Either way, it was fun to watch her try to take him down, but damn, he had some pretty slick moves! I kept yelling “get him Mustang!” and “It’s not nice to beat up girls!” It was all in good fun and with lots of love. Venis Envy and Punky Bruiser also had a full on wrestling match on the concrete floor and I don’t think anyone won per say, except those watching perhaps. Without thinking, I yelled “Be careful with my favorite Roller!” and Venis PROMPTLY came back with “What about your favorite Puta?” She got me there! I had quickly say “And with my favorite Puta, of course! Ma’am, yes ma’am!” Finally, Smarty Pants came and broke it up, but maybe it was a preview of the boiling blood that is gonna be at full throttle during the final bout in the regular season. It’s gonna be a good one, you better find a baby sitter now and get those disposable cameras ready, coz you ain’t gonna wanna miss it! Holy Rollers vs. las Putas del Fuego, April 29th. Be there. Or suck. And you don’t wanna be a sucker do ya? Well, do ya punk?

Peace out and SK8 on!
Your humble banked track editor, ÅnaRchy

It was "Ride 'Em Cowgirls" on April 1st

As is becoming the custom apparently, this is late and somewhat forgotten, but thus is the way of life. If you weren’t at the Putas del Fuego vs. Rhinestone Cowgirls bout, you missed one HELLUVA bout. I’ll say it again, a helluva bout.

As far as penalties, there were lots of spank alleys, both regular and reversed. I’m thinking at the next bout, I’m gonna break down and buy some spank alley raffle tickets (find Eva Knievel before the bout - $1 a piece I believe…there’s the plug for spank alley!!), it seems like a fun place to spend a bout and helps our gals out a little bit more. There was a historic 1st ever 4-way pillow fight (Honey was in it, but can’t recall who else.)

Mike and Tim went to Mooshine’s at half time and attempted satellite feed announcing, however, I think the technology failed them, or maybe they were kicked out. They showed back up eventually at the Thunderdome, but meanwhile, Doc and Eva Knievel had taken over the Red Coat duties (they did a fine job by the way). So the new redcoats, in full polyester carried on and Mike and Tim announced a penalty from within the ring. Then I think things got back to normal, and then the fights broke out. I was looking away and suddenly heard the all telling “Ooooooh!” from the crowd and Mighty Aphrodite, in her comeback bout had Chola on the ground and the two were squirming around (and slapping each other) and this caused a bench clearing that had production crew members running in the track because the refs were as busy as 3-legged cats in the shit covering contest. I had hoped for, and predicted a Wolverine attack from the Rhinestone’s (which didn’t happen), but this scuffle was just as bad, with more people involved. It was madness, anarchy if you will!

This really was a great bout (I feel like I say that each time, but it’s true!) The Putas had decided to get hammered to “even out the playing field” but judging on the score, it didn’t seem to faze them. And no one puked, that I saw, but from what I understand, there were buckets in place. Just in case. Some of the Putas did seem a little tired (and I’m not sayin who…) but in the end it didn’t matter. It would appear that the tequila that did not kill them made them stronger. The final score was: Puta’s – 49, Rhine’s – 21. Now, I’ve said in the past that my nemesis team this season is the Rhine’s, but I’m not ready to throw in the towel on them, they got some fire in their bellies yet.

Mighty Aphrodite (aka “The Mouth” see cable access channel 10, 10 pm Mondays nights) made her skating comeback tonight with the Rhinestone’s and showed she’s still hard as nails. She was starting fights left and right and jammed a couple several times against Lunatic, who is also fresh back on the track. She skated against the Arizona Renegade Rollergirls after taking some time off to bring the world a little lunatic. But this was her first bout her girls. Good to have both these badasses back!

During the 4th quarter, the tension was thick. There was lots of good blocking on the part of the Rhinestone’s, but Chola and Chingona managed to pull off several full jams and kept the lead going up. But you would never guess it to look at the spirit of the Rhinestone’s. I’m not sure which scuffle exactly got Honey ejected, but she got ejected. Second time this season. (First time was against the Cherry Bombs.) I think it was between her and Lunatic, but either way, she ended up throwing her helmet at Luna and Chola, and Luna proceeded to pick it up and chunk it out of the track, flying over the Whore’s Turn 4, towards the bar. Then as I recall, there were several security officials that “encouraged” Honey to head on out. After the bout on the way out the door, I saw her and pointed and said “Honey, I love you!’ and sorta smiled and said very dryly and matter-of-factly, “yeah, but you’re wearing a Puta shirt.” I totally got called out. And admit it.

Titz McGee skated again tonight, I believe she has skated in every single bout this season and I’m willing to say that I think she’s skated for every team except the Hellcats. Either way, she’s becoming quite the badass blocker – in the way when she needs to be. Joining Titz on the Rhinestone’s was Kate or Dye, who is becoming quite the quick jammer. Both of these ladies kick ass and I’m looking forward to watching them progress.

And lastly, we said farewell to Willy Callit, production crewmember, referee in training and knowledgeable board whore. Hope your backside has recovered from the TXRD spank alley love! His friendly face will be missed on Turn 4, but maybe he’ll be back for the playoffs…(hint, hint, Willy…)

Peace out & Sk8 on! Your humble banked track editor, ÅnaRchy

Texas Rollergirls on the Radio!

The Texas Rollergirls are hitting the airwaves to talk Derby...

Wednesday, March 28 - 9:40 a.m. - AM1300 The Zone
The Texas Rollergirls join Bucky and Erin on "The Buck on Sports" to talk about
the April 1 bout and Melicious's book ROLLERGIRL: TOTALLY TRUE TALES FROM THE
TRACK. www.sportsradio1300.com

Friday, March 30 - 7:40 a.m. - 101X
Dirty Deeds and Melicious get down and Derby with Jason & Mike on the Morning X. Tune in to 101.5 FM. http://www.krox.com

Cherry Bombs vs. Holy Rollers! Finally, jeesh!!

First, let me say this has been on my desktop since Monday and I completely slacked on getting it posted! Yikes, jeesh, oops and sorry! Thank goodness I'm not in charge of the world or anything!

So, last Sunday, the Holy Rollers kept the Cherry Bomb “un-ignited,” but man, it was a close, tiring battle. At half time, I wondered if this would be another tie causing sudden death match, like the Cherry Bombs had with the Putas a couple of weeks ago. The entire game was played very defensively by both teams. Jammers not attempting a full jam, but choosing rather to call off a jam with just 1 or 2 points scored, just as long as the other jammer scored nothing. To me, that shows the true sport-ness (if you will) of roller derby, a decided strategy, played by both teams, a plan of attack if you will. A plan that played out well for the Holy Rollers, who took it 41 to 35.

Favorite events of the night:

Miss Conduct vs. Cherry ‘The Law’ Chainsaw in a two-lap duel. This scuffle shows the reason why both these ladies are such badasses. Cherry’s got however many inches and pounds on Miss Conduct, but as always, the killer Miss Conduct brings it. These two gals went at it, skated, then went at it again.

Also, in another penalty, these two ladies also had to arm wrestle. I think I’ve stated in the past that I can’t think of a skater in the league that could beat Cherry in an arm wrestle, and tonight was no exception. I got a couple of great pics (soon to come, once the disposable camera is all “shot up”) of the after fight that ensued when Miss Conduct lost and flipped the table and attacked Cherry Chainsaw. On my 1-10 scale of “How big are YOUR cajones?” Miss Conduct gets a well-earned nine, meaning she’s got cajones bigger than yours, and yours, and probably yours. I love Miss Conduct!

Smarty Pants and Rocky Casbah – during a jam, Smarty starting skating backwards, taunting Rocky and Rocky came with it. I had never seen Smarty start a scuffle, but these two went at it and had to literally be torn apart by the refs. Also, Smarty came off the track 2 or 3 times tonight.

Okay, so truth be told, the bout Sunday was PAINFUL for me. This season, I picked the Holy Rollers as “my team.” IE, they’re at the top of the ranking list of who I root for. But Rocky, who is my absolute favorite rookie for this season, was the chosen jammer for much of the bout for the Cherry Bombs, and I swore I wouldn’t root against her. I confessed my sins to her, and she agreed to take a pic with me at the next Cherry Bomb bout. Not only is she a badass skater, she's a sweet chick!

Tonight, I brought a good friend, who has heard me speak of roller derby often, we’ll call him The Brain, and when asked what his favorite part of the evening was, he replied “I really, really liked when the girls fly off the track, when they fight, and most definitely the plaid skirts.” Sounds like we’ve got a Holy Roller fan in the making!

This really was a close bout and a ton of fun to watch, even though I didn't cheer much! Thanks to the gals for all the fine skating!

Peace out and SK8 on!

Your humble banked track editor, ÅnaRchy

AZ tried to Mess With Texas...Renegade Rollergirls VS. TXRD Lonestar Rollergirls bout...

WOW! The interstate bout last night between the TXRD Lonestar Rollergirls and the Arizona Renegade Rollergirls was awesome! The ladies from AZ put up a good fight, but it wasn't enough. What I didn't know and found out while I bought a "Roll Out With Your Hole Out" t-shirt from an AZ rollergirl is that these ladies are FLAT TRACK. WOW. Now, I had respect for them taking on the TXRD Lonestar Rollergirls on their home turf to begin with, but to find out that some of them hadn't skated on a banked track before, these chicas have massive cajones. Kudos to the Renegades!

The skaters for TXRD were: Honey Homicide, Fanny Smack, Venis Envy, Mustang Sally, Annie Afterparty (in a lovely electric blue tutu), Dixie Sanchez, Rollergazm, Chingona, Dirty Blond and lastly, but most definitely not last, the lovely Lunatic made her comeback from child rearing. What a site to see! I'm proud to say I was one of the loud people by the track yelling "LUN-A-TIC, LUN-A-TIC!!"

The Renegade Rollergirls had the Texas Timebomb, Renegade, Mayhemily, Go Go Liz, Night-Mar, Killotine, JoAnn Thrax, Mad As Sin, and T-Wrexxx. And these ladies were awesome. They had speed, skills, and heart! We hope they'll come back soon!

My favorite skater of the evening: Honey Homicide. Let me tell you what's so great about Honey. Aside from the fact that she's a head taller than everyone and has a definite physical presence on the track, she has personality. Last night, and in previous bouts, she will cause a ruckus, get the crowd all riled up, then skate around with her hands behind her back and a sweet look on her face – literally saying "Who me? I didn't do that…" Now, by nature I'm not a Rhinestone fan (hey, you gotta pick a team as the nemesis, and the Rhine's are fun to hate – but don't get me wrong, they have some badass skaters) but Honey has won me over. I got to get a picture with her and am excited to see how it turned out! I heart Honey!

I got to meet and stand with the TXRD Board Whores (I love you guys!!) and let me tell you, that is the place to be. Aside from the fact that they cheer as much as I do, they actually know the skaters' strengths, weaknesses and personalities on the track. I thought I was the only one that kept up with that kind of stuff, but, at last, I found my people!! Now, I'm a lurker on the board, so I don't feel I qualify for Board Whore status, so for now, I'm a Board Slut, aspiring to be a Whore.

There were no Holy Rollers or Cherry Bombs on the team this year – these ladies gotta battle each other on Sunday – and it's bound to be a tough fight. I love me some Holy Rollers, but Rocky is my favorite rookie of the season (that gal has spunk and speed!), so I'll probably be wearing a Holy Roller shirt with my bright green Cherry Bomb hoodie. I gotta represent both of these kick ass teams! For the first time this season, I'm truly torn on who to root for, but either way, whoever wins – I'll be happy!

Many thanks and a whole shitload of kudos to the Arizona Renegade Rollergirls, you ladies have my respect and admiration. I look forward to the next interstate bout.

Peace out and SK8 on!
Your humble banked track editor, ÅnaRchy


PS. Oops, I almost forgot to include some useful information...the final score was: TXRD 76 - AZ 44

PSS. Will post whatever pics came out on my disposable camera after tonight's Holy Roller vs. Cherry Bomb bout - definetly the one with my girl, Honey!

Free SxSW Flat Track Event

Unfortunately, the TXRG Derby events have been cancelled. It's been yucky & rainy for days, so it looks like the Texas Rollergirls will not be able to set up their track for the outdoor event. (I'm hoping this might change...the forecast for tomorrow looks promising. So cross your fingers!!! Hopefully, with some better weather, the girls might be able to pull a miracle & get the derby event back on again.)

Regardless, the Texas Rollergirls will be there to meet & greet fans while promoting their April 1st bout. The bands are still scheduled to play, so check them out and go meet some of your favorite rollergirls!

And Pray the SUN Shines upon TXRG & lets the Derby REIGN!

• Date: Thursday, March 15
• Time: Bouts @ noon and at 6:30 p.m.
• Place: the corner of 2nd and Lavaca
• Tickets: FREE!

The Bands:

• Foundry Field Recordings
• Be/Non
• Call Me Poupee
• Pigeon John
• Dynamite Walls
• Lesbians on Ecstasy

Aw yeah, TONS of banked track derby action in the ATX!

Holy Cow! We've got TONS of banked track action in the ATX this week folks! You know my motto - too much derby is NEVER enough!



* On Thursday, March 15th, we've got the Arizona Renegade Rollergirls coming in for a rematch – those of you who watched the A&E series Rollergirls – these are the same ladies coming back for more! Doors at 7pm, bout begins at 8pm. $13 advance, $15 at the door

* Wanna rub elbows with some of your favorite gals? Rumor has it they will be out in force Friday, March 16th, at Momo's to rock out to Sinister Muse, from 12-5pm.

* Now this is cool! Saturday, March 17th from 2-6pm TXRD FREE Open House at the Convention Center! Come check out TXRD and visiting skaters doing their thing on the track, hear live bands and buy some TXRD merchandise and some drinks while you are there. If you are a rollergirl and will be in Austin, email purrana@txrd.com - we'd love to see ya!!!! Then from 8-11pm Utah Saints (http://www.myspace.com/utahsaints) are gonna rock out while TXRD skaters scrimmage at the Convention Center. $ 20 at the door.

* Then, as if all that ain't kick ass enough – we've got a regularly scheduled bout – Sunday, March 18th, the Holy Rollers are taking on the Cherry Bombs. Now, people, this is a bout you don't wanna miss. The Holy Rollers are gonna bring it with all they have, and as far as I know, all the favorites (and badasses) are gonna be rollin' – Sister Mary Jane, Miss Conduct, Smarty Pants, Punky Bruiser, Horrowshow, Sacrlicious, just to name a few. And we all know they Cherrybombs have the talented Rocky Casbah (can I just say she's my favorite rookie this season!) and she's got Heathen, Cherry Chainsaw, Dyna-Dash, Stoli watching her back. It's gonna be on! Doors at 6pm, Bout at 7pm. $13 advance, $15 at the door.

As always, for the full-on-real-deal visit TXRD.com or http://www.myspace.com/txrd

Peace out and Sk8 on!
Your humble banked track editor, ÅnaRchy

Apparently you can't herd cats! Hellcats vs. Rhinestone Cowgirls bout recap

So the Rhinestone Cowgirl vs. the Hellcats bout was a doosey! I was shocked at how few people were there, but was kinda selfishly glad...more room for me to jump around and shorter lines in at the bar! Where were you people? Come out and show some love! The question before the bout had been: Can the Rhinestone's herd the Hellcats…the answer: herding cats IS just as hard as it sounds. The ladies went at it all night, but the Hellcats ending up taking it by 19 points. Final Score: Hellcats 42 - Rhinestone Cowgirls 23. Wish I had more information about jamming and blocking and the 'real' derby stuff…but I drank, therefore I slack! Help a sista out!

Unfortunately, because it took me so long to write this, and I *might* have had a *little* to drink that night, much of the bout is a blur. I remember yelling a lot and saying ouch a lot (mostly for Emme Propper, one tough little cowgal, who I recall getting knocked around all night.) So, if you were there and had a favorite moment or remember something too cool to not share, PLEASE leave a comment to share with the world and refresh my memory!

The Hellcats did a fun little play on their introduction. The Rhinestone's had already come out and done their intro-lap and the Hellcats were nowhere to be found. Suddenly, they emerge from the back, each with face paint a feather stuck in her hair, sticking straight up, Indian (um, Native American) style. Each girl had a new name, each a representation of what they planned to do to the Cowgirls. I was so surprised that I can't remember who was who for the intro, but I loved it! Thank goodness for me, they didn't use them all night (I have trouble enough as it is…) But it was too cute! Wait, can I say "cute" to describe something roller derby? Oh, hell no. How about killer? It was killer! Okay, that sounds better.

My favorite moment: The Wolverine. According to the lovely and hellaciously tough Honey Homocide, The Wolverine is a manuever that is performed when the Rhinestone Cowgirls are either way behind or way ahead. What happens is this, and it's a beautiful sight. Each Rhinestone Cowgirl attacks there corresponding "enemy" at the same time so there are 5 mini-fights going on. And since this IS roller derby, the benches clear FAST. It's like mad, wonderful chaos. Not that I condone violence of any sort…except this kind. :0) I had never witnessed this phenomen before, and the Rhinestone's have a won a new place in my heart. The crowd went crazy, the refs were running from derby girl pile to derby girl pile, and everyone had smiles on their faces, me most of all. What a night! Thanks to the Hellcats and Rhinestone's for a wonderfully fun evening!

Peace out & Sk8 on! ÅnaRchy

Texas Rollergirls 3-4-07 Bout Update

It was a great start for the TXRG organization. I was both proud & lucky enough to serve on Production Crew, not only setting up for the bout but also be one of the Penalty Timers during the bout. And frankly...it was AWESOME! I can't lie or even attempt to play it "Joe Cool" here. It was a total fucking blast!

The season opener was sort of strange cause for the 1st time in TXRG history, there were a ton of trades in the pre-season. So it was absolutely crazy seeing girls like, for example, Buckshot Betsy skating for the Hell Marys instead of the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers. But variety is the spice of life & it looks like TXRG is entering the wild world of derby free-agency. It will be interesting to see what happens at the end of the 2007 season & where the chips will fall.

If you are into deep technical & play summary of the bouts, then do visit Phil Arnold. Phil gives great game summary, stats, & technical insight into every bout he attends. I wouldn't dare dream of trying to top it...there is a reason why he is the TXRG Super Fan! You can visit him Here & Here.

However, since I was effectively in the Penalty Box all night, I can tell you this...
The 1st period was filled with straight forward derby play. I recall 4 girls spending time in the box during the ENTIRE 1st half, (Dinah Mite, Lady X, Tinkerhell, & ???), 3 during the Hustler/Hell Mary bout & only 1 during the Honey/Heartbreaker bout.

But during the 2nd half, things got wild. Penalties were CAH-RAZY during the Hustler/Marys 3rd quarter. Slim Kickens was in there twice and stand-out "rookie" Lady X spent some time with us as well, as did Lady Stardust, and a few other girls. And at one point, we had 3 girls in the box at once. It got slightly hectic for us, especially for me as a newbie. I ain't gonna lie...I can't remember everyone cause, like a newbie on the job the 1st day of work, I was just trying to keep up & not screw up horribly. (And I did have 2 sad moments. A HUGE thanks goes out to Vicious van GoGo, Hog Wild, & *especially* Friction VixXxen of the Denver Roller Dolls for helpin' me out & always being there to back me up. BIG Love!!!) The 4th quarter was a bit tamer, although we had plenty going on penalty wise.

Next time, I'll bring a pad & pen, like a good little reporter, & write all this shit down. But frankly, I wasn't really there to do blog business this TXRG bout. I was just trying to LEARN & do the job at hand. (There is a huge difference between being an observer & having to keep track of the fast-paced action. I was schooled this lesson on Sunday, fo sho!) And while it might seem easy, there is definitely an art to knowing the rules, (which change as the sport rapidly grows & a new national par is set each year), execute the rules properly & fairly, and following a wicked fast game/jam while still being able to watch/hear the refs, rollergirls, announcers, and pay attention to the penalty clock in your hand all set to the tune of loud rock music you must yell over. It's definitely a job that I hope to perfect in the upcoming bouts, if given the chance.

I managed to take a few pics during the 2nd half, when there WEREN'T girls in the box, & I will get them developed ASAP & posted. (I took a disposable cam just cause I didn't want to deal with pockets & keeping up with a digital cam.) But frankly, I CANNOT wait for the next bout. Pics coming soon.

TXRG Season Opener TONIGHT!

Click on Poster for a Larger Image.

It's time for the first bout of the 2007 season, and the Texas Rollergirls are rarin' to go. How 'bout you?!

Be sure to bring your protective gear to the bout on Sunday, 'cause it's gonna be a rough 'n' tumble kinda night. Sure, girls from all four teams joined forces on the Texecutioners to kick ass at the Dust Devil, but it was a merge of necessity, not nicety.

The first match of the night is the Hustlers versus the Hell Marys. It's a re-match of the last game of 2006... and the grudges have not dissipated during the off-season. Can the Hustlers out-dance and out-skate those naughty school girls, or will the Hell Marys' plaid power prevail?

The second game of the night is a re-match of last year's Championship -- the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers verus the more-determined-than-ever Hotrod Honeys. Can the most dangerous girl gang to ever wear pink and black break the Heartbreakers' hearts, or will Austin's favorite rodeo sweethearts ride to victory again?

And it wouldn't be Rock'n'Rollerderby without the live music! Adrenaline Factor are gonna remind you why Austin is the live music capital of the world.

For all the latest information, go to http://txrollergirls.com/. There are still season tickets available. Go to http://txrollergirls.com/shop/seasontickets.htm to order them.

Sunday Sunday Sunday!!

How lucky are we in Austin? We have another TXRD Lonestar Rollergirls banked track bout this Sunday! Will the Rhinestone Cowgirls be able to herd the Hellcats? Come and find out!



Visit TXRD.com for more details on where to get advance tickets (save yo'self $2!)

Dust Devil '07 TXRG Photoblog

Photos By & Courtesy Of Jules Doyle
Click Here for more Dust Devil & Roller Derby pics.

Click on thumbnails to view larger photo.

Sin City Rollergirls 49 vs Texecutioners 121:



Rat City Rollergirls 105 vs Texecutioners 95:



Kansas City Roller Warriors 62 vs Texecutioners 111:



The ARGB definitely hearts Jules & we thank him for his awesomeness! Is that a word? Well, it is now!!! Big, BIG love to the JD, from the SB.

Fire and Bombs don't mix: Putas vs. Cherry Bomb bout recap!

If you missed Sunday's banked track bout - you missed out! The Cherry Bomb vs. Putas del Fuego bout was the *best* bout so far this season. Neither team was giving up points, the defense was brutal - literally. Heathen was injured during the first half and was seen rolling around on just 4 wheels in a wheel chair during the second half (she got slammed up against the rail pretty hard.)

The entire game was neck and neck, with no team ahead by more than 6 points at any given time. The score at the close of the first half was 13-13. The score at the close of the 4th quarter 27-27 - there's no "ties" in roller derby! The teams go into sudden death match - first team to score a point wins: and Chola takes it for the Putas! By far the closest and most exciting bout of the season thus far!

Peace out and SK8 on! Å

Dust Devil '07 TXRG Recap

By TXRG SuperFan Phil Arnold of RollerDerbyIsSport Yahoo Group

For the Texas Rollergirls travel team, the defending 2006 National Champion WFTDA Team, Dust Devil would probably have to be considered a disappointment. Eventual champions Rat City All-Stars upended Texas in the semi-final round. For the Texecutioners, an all-star team that had never lost an Interleague bout, there was a definite bad taste from this tournament. Still Texas won two out of three games, with the other games not even being close.

In the first game of the tournament, the Texas Rollergirls defeated the Sin City Neander Dolls, 121-49, in a 72 point blow-out. Texas actually trailed after the sixth jam of the first period 15-10, but would come back and outscore Vegas 30-4 the rest of the period. At the end of the second period Texas had extended the lead to 78-41, and in the third period they outscored Sin City 43-8.

Buckshot Betsy, who scored 35 points, led Texas. Captain Bloody Mary also scored a good number of points jamming, and did an excellent job of blocking from the front of the pack. Texas Coach Sonny felt that all of the skaters had good moments, especially in blocking, as the Texecutioners shut out Sin City for nine consecutive jams between the end of the second period and halfway through the third period. I would say that Kitt Fisto of Vegas and Bruce Killis played very good games for Vegas.

Texas Upset by Rat City, 105-95 in Semi-Final Action

Texas started the game off on fire, getting lead jammer after lead jammer, putting up a 39-12 lead at the end of the first period. One of the reasons for Seattle's low scoring was their jammer was in the penalty box several times, and that can cripple a team's offense and put a lot of pressure on its defense.

In the second jam of the second period, Rat City Jammer Miss Fortune would counter with a 10 point jam as Texas jammer Rice Rocket was sent to the penalty box, for the first of what would be many jammer penalties for Texas. The Seattle squad would throw five shutout jams in a row to narrow the led to 52 to 50. However in the next to the last jam of the period, Trouble would counter with an eight point jam that would widen the lead to 64 to 54 at the end of the second period.

As the first jam of the third period started, Rat City’s Miss Fortune would start a jam that would help swing the game around. When Texas’ Rice Rocket came out of the box, she only jammed a short while before she was put in the box for a major penalty. That allowed Rat City to play offense almost the whole jam, and Miss Fortune scored 16 points as Rat City took the lead for the first time in the game 70-64.

Rice Rocket would help Texas come back however as she pulled a five point jam midway through the third period, and Cat Tastrophe would follow it up with Texas' largest jam of the game with 8 points to give the Texecutioners and 86-80 lead. Then with another Texas jammer in the box, Hideous Braxley would add ten points on a jam for Rat City, and the Northwestern squad would follow it up with a 6 point jam to take a commanding 104-93 lead going late into the game.

But the game was not over yet with the possibility of two jams. Rat City jammer Anna R. Kissed was soon sent to the penalty box late with a major and Texas had a real shot at making up some big time points, except that Rat City had a counter strategy…foul the jammer and slow her down. First one blocker, then another blocker, and finally a third skater went to the box to join the Rat City jammer for major penalties. But each time the major penalty occurred; apparently the jammer was slowed down, as the clock was the real enemy of the Texas.

Because of the lack of skaters on the track, the officials stopped the clock, and put the minimum number of skaters back on the track. The major penalty stall by Seattle had worked. There was just too little time left for Texas to be able to score ten points and Rat City was able to go into a joyous celebration as the game clock ran out.

Unofficially, I have Trouble scoring the most for Texas with 25 points, being followed by Rice Rocket and Cat Tastrophe with 19 points. Rice and Belle Starr, along with Sparkle Plenty did a good job of blocking and holding Rat City scoring down, as much as possible with 305 total penalties being called during this match.

Top jammers for Rat City included Miss Fortune, Hideous Braxley, Drew Blood and Anna R Kissed. Rettig to Rumble, Pia Mess, and Da Bomb also did a superior job of blocking for the Seattle team.

Texas Wins Consolation Game 111-62 Over Kansas City

In the consolation game, Texas opened up a 42-19 lead after one period, and following ten shutout jams by the Texecutioners in the opening of Period 2, the defending national champs took a 79-31 at the end of the second twenty minutes. The last period was closer,
with Texas managing a 32-31 lead. The top scorer for Kansas City was Snot Rocket with an unofficial 30 points, and Fearlys with 12 points. Several Texas players scored in double figures including Bloody Mary with 17 points, Cat Tastrophe with 16, Lucille Brawl with 15 points, Rollin Sweet with 14, and Rice Rocket with a cool 13 points.

Bloody Mary, Rice Rocket, and Lucille Brawl also did a good job of blocking for Texas along with blocker Belle Starr for Texas. For Kansas City, Bruz-her and Red Ripper were two of the teams top blockers.

For Texas, with the win over Sin City, they qualified for the National Tournament, which will be held in Austin this fall. With the win over Kansas City, they will be the third seed from the West in the eight-team tournament. They will probably play either Minnesota or Madison, whichever team ends up being the second ranked team from the East.

For more photos, visit Phil's site, http://sports.groups.yahoo.com/group/RollerDerbyIsSport

Big Thanks to Phil & his Yahoo Group for collaborating with me & sharing with us this report. The ARGB truly hearts Phil!

TXRD: Cherry Bombs vs. Putas del Fuego Tonight!

Click on Event Poster for larger size.

What happens when you mix a bunch of explosives with a whole lotta fire? You only get *one* guess...

This is the bout you've been waiting for - the up 'n coming Cherry Bombs are taking on the Putas del Fuego! They're the new kids on the block, and before anyone could blink they won a couple of amazing victories, giving our loyal fans some of the best derby action they've ever seen! They're not letting up either, and come tonight, who knows where the smart money will be. Check out pics of the '07 CB's here.

The Cherry Bombs have a Texas-sized chip on their shoulders and a short fuse to go with it. Powerhouse veterans like Cherry Chainsaw and Varuca Assault are anchoring the team, with new soon-to-be superstars like Rocky Casbah and Heathen carrying on the speed-demon tradition started by Lucky Harm in last season's bouts. Short fuse or not though, the Putas are going to put up just as big a fight! The Putas have a fearsome line-up and their mettle has withstood the test of time. Same ol' Putas? Not by a long-shot! Just when you think you know'em, those Putas are going to light the banked track on fire like never before! They're gonna knock that chip off the Bombs' shoulder, and maybe just light that fuse when they're not lookin'! Check out pics of the '07 PDF's here.

Tickets are on sale at the door and on online for $15, or pick up an advance ticket for only $13 at one of our vendors around Austin! Doors at 6pm, Game at 7pm.

The Hell Marys Backyard Bonanza Today!

The Hell Marys yard sale and backyard party is today, Sunday, February 25, from Noon to 6 PM. The weather will be great. Bring your self, your friends, your kids. Bring lawn chairs, coolers, booze. Wear your Hell Marys colors and costumes!

Plan to spend the afternoon enjoying some mellowed-out live rock music, munching on food, playing silly games for prizes, and mingling with the fabulous 2007 Hell Marys. They will be welcoming the Texas Rollergirls travel team back from the Dust Devil as well. Proceeds will benefit the Hell Marys' trip to Providence, R.I. in April to bout against the New England Roller Derby.

When:
Sunday Feb 25, 2007
12:00 noon to 6:00 PM

Where:
Dan's House
1811 Belford Drive
Austin, TX 78757

(2 blocks north of Anderson Lane between Burnet and 183 - go north on Mullen)

THE SCHEDULE FOR SUNDAY:

• 12:00 Yard Sale opens
• 12:30 - 1:30 Music: The Total Foxes
• 1:30 - 2:00 Games
• 2:00 - 3:00 Music: Deejer
• 3:00 - 3:30 Team Introductions (Hells & Texecutioners)
• 3:30 - 4:00 Games
• 4:00 - 5:00 TBA
• 5:00 - 5:30 Games
• 6:00 Yard Sale closes

Click on the Event Poster to view larger size:

The Rollergirl Book Signing

On Tuesday night, I attended the BookPeople event for the ultimate Rollergirl book by TXRG's Melicious. First of all, I simply HAVE to say that I'm a big fan of Mel's. Even though the ARGB is completely non-denominational in our derby LOVE when it comes to Austin Rollergirls & Austin Roller Derby, for me personally...well, I'm a fan of Mel's & what she's accomplished, both on & off the track. It's not everyday a Rollergirl publishes a book. And it doesn't hurt either that she's been very kind to me & a friend of the Blog ever since I 1st started it back in January 2006, even taking time out of her busy days to trade emails w/ me & comment here on the blog several times over the last year. Nope, it doesn't hurt at all. ;o)

The event itself was really cool. There were Texas Rollergirls rolling around for a lite demonstration at the beginning. (Which I'm sorry to say I missed because I was a tad late, so no pics, but my blog-ner in crime tells me it was pretty awesome. Definitely the most action the hardwood 2nd-story floors of BookPeople has seen in years, if ever.) Mel did several readings from her book, including sections about the 2006 Dust Devil, finding her Rollergirl persona, the "sweet" smell of a Rollergirl & her pads, as well as the infamous 1st SxSW bout that fueled the split between the nation's 1st modern day Rollergirl league. The whole reading was very light-hearted & funny, except a bit of nervous quiet during the SxSW reading that was quickly followed by the hilarious insight into the desperate laundering of smelly rollergirl knee pads. Loved it!

The Texas Rollergirls in the audience were introduced, which was neat cause I didn't realize I was actually sitting next one. (My Rollergirl radar isn't quite what it should be, I guess.) Melicious also fielded questions from the audience, which was fun especially cause the audience was a tad shy but threw some interesting ones out nevertheless. I have to admit that I had a question, but wasn't sure how appropriate it was. (Wanted to know what the relationship between the 2 Austin leagues were like now vs 5 years ago. Frankly, I didn't want to put Mel on the spot with a possible highly political question.)

The whole evening was great. I got to meet some very cool-cats, like TXRG Superfan Phil Arnold, Chip Queso, Vendetta von Dutch, and so forth. I got my book signed & got to chat up Mel for a minute. (The book is doing well, as is the book tour. Melicious won't be back ripping up the track until April due to her book commitments.)

Be sure to pick up the book, it's a great read. A MUST if you are a Rollergirl, thinking about becoming one, or just a fan.

Melicious reading from Rollergirl.

Mel signing my book.

Melicious & Skate Bettie :o)