It was "Ride 'Em Cowgirls" on April 1st

As is becoming the custom apparently, this is late and somewhat forgotten, but thus is the way of life. If you weren’t at the Putas del Fuego vs. Rhinestone Cowgirls bout, you missed one HELLUVA bout. I’ll say it again, a helluva bout.

As far as penalties, there were lots of spank alleys, both regular and reversed. I’m thinking at the next bout, I’m gonna break down and buy some spank alley raffle tickets (find Eva Knievel before the bout - $1 a piece I believe…there’s the plug for spank alley!!), it seems like a fun place to spend a bout and helps our gals out a little bit more. There was a historic 1st ever 4-way pillow fight (Honey was in it, but can’t recall who else.)

Mike and Tim went to Mooshine’s at half time and attempted satellite feed announcing, however, I think the technology failed them, or maybe they were kicked out. They showed back up eventually at the Thunderdome, but meanwhile, Doc and Eva Knievel had taken over the Red Coat duties (they did a fine job by the way). So the new redcoats, in full polyester carried on and Mike and Tim announced a penalty from within the ring. Then I think things got back to normal, and then the fights broke out. I was looking away and suddenly heard the all telling “Ooooooh!” from the crowd and Mighty Aphrodite, in her comeback bout had Chola on the ground and the two were squirming around (and slapping each other) and this caused a bench clearing that had production crew members running in the track because the refs were as busy as 3-legged cats in the shit covering contest. I had hoped for, and predicted a Wolverine attack from the Rhinestone’s (which didn’t happen), but this scuffle was just as bad, with more people involved. It was madness, anarchy if you will!

This really was a great bout (I feel like I say that each time, but it’s true!) The Putas had decided to get hammered to “even out the playing field” but judging on the score, it didn’t seem to faze them. And no one puked, that I saw, but from what I understand, there were buckets in place. Just in case. Some of the Putas did seem a little tired (and I’m not sayin who…) but in the end it didn’t matter. It would appear that the tequila that did not kill them made them stronger. The final score was: Puta’s – 49, Rhine’s – 21. Now, I’ve said in the past that my nemesis team this season is the Rhine’s, but I’m not ready to throw in the towel on them, they got some fire in their bellies yet.

Mighty Aphrodite (aka “The Mouth” see cable access channel 10, 10 pm Mondays nights) made her skating comeback tonight with the Rhinestone’s and showed she’s still hard as nails. She was starting fights left and right and jammed a couple several times against Lunatic, who is also fresh back on the track. She skated against the Arizona Renegade Rollergirls after taking some time off to bring the world a little lunatic. But this was her first bout her girls. Good to have both these badasses back!

During the 4th quarter, the tension was thick. There was lots of good blocking on the part of the Rhinestone’s, but Chola and Chingona managed to pull off several full jams and kept the lead going up. But you would never guess it to look at the spirit of the Rhinestone’s. I’m not sure which scuffle exactly got Honey ejected, but she got ejected. Second time this season. (First time was against the Cherry Bombs.) I think it was between her and Lunatic, but either way, she ended up throwing her helmet at Luna and Chola, and Luna proceeded to pick it up and chunk it out of the track, flying over the Whore’s Turn 4, towards the bar. Then as I recall, there were several security officials that “encouraged” Honey to head on out. After the bout on the way out the door, I saw her and pointed and said “Honey, I love you!’ and sorta smiled and said very dryly and matter-of-factly, “yeah, but you’re wearing a Puta shirt.” I totally got called out. And admit it.

Titz McGee skated again tonight, I believe she has skated in every single bout this season and I’m willing to say that I think she’s skated for every team except the Hellcats. Either way, she’s becoming quite the badass blocker – in the way when she needs to be. Joining Titz on the Rhinestone’s was Kate or Dye, who is becoming quite the quick jammer. Both of these ladies kick ass and I’m looking forward to watching them progress.

And lastly, we said farewell to Willy Callit, production crewmember, referee in training and knowledgeable board whore. Hope your backside has recovered from the TXRD spank alley love! His friendly face will be missed on Turn 4, but maybe he’ll be back for the playoffs…(hint, hint, Willy…)

Peace out & Sk8 on! Your humble banked track editor, ÅnaRchy