Texas Rollergirls on the Radio!

The Texas Rollergirls are hitting the airwaves to talk Derby...

Wednesday, March 28 - 9:40 a.m. - AM1300 The Zone
The Texas Rollergirls join Bucky and Erin on "The Buck on Sports" to talk about
the April 1 bout and Melicious's book ROLLERGIRL: TOTALLY TRUE TALES FROM THE
TRACK. www.sportsradio1300.com

Friday, March 30 - 7:40 a.m. - 101X
Dirty Deeds and Melicious get down and Derby with Jason & Mike on the Morning X. Tune in to 101.5 FM. http://www.krox.com

Cherry Bombs vs. Holy Rollers! Finally, jeesh!!

First, let me say this has been on my desktop since Monday and I completely slacked on getting it posted! Yikes, jeesh, oops and sorry! Thank goodness I'm not in charge of the world or anything!

So, last Sunday, the Holy Rollers kept the Cherry Bomb “un-ignited,” but man, it was a close, tiring battle. At half time, I wondered if this would be another tie causing sudden death match, like the Cherry Bombs had with the Putas a couple of weeks ago. The entire game was played very defensively by both teams. Jammers not attempting a full jam, but choosing rather to call off a jam with just 1 or 2 points scored, just as long as the other jammer scored nothing. To me, that shows the true sport-ness (if you will) of roller derby, a decided strategy, played by both teams, a plan of attack if you will. A plan that played out well for the Holy Rollers, who took it 41 to 35.

Favorite events of the night:

Miss Conduct vs. Cherry ‘The Law’ Chainsaw in a two-lap duel. This scuffle shows the reason why both these ladies are such badasses. Cherry’s got however many inches and pounds on Miss Conduct, but as always, the killer Miss Conduct brings it. These two gals went at it, skated, then went at it again.

Also, in another penalty, these two ladies also had to arm wrestle. I think I’ve stated in the past that I can’t think of a skater in the league that could beat Cherry in an arm wrestle, and tonight was no exception. I got a couple of great pics (soon to come, once the disposable camera is all “shot up”) of the after fight that ensued when Miss Conduct lost and flipped the table and attacked Cherry Chainsaw. On my 1-10 scale of “How big are YOUR cajones?” Miss Conduct gets a well-earned nine, meaning she’s got cajones bigger than yours, and yours, and probably yours. I love Miss Conduct!

Smarty Pants and Rocky Casbah – during a jam, Smarty starting skating backwards, taunting Rocky and Rocky came with it. I had never seen Smarty start a scuffle, but these two went at it and had to literally be torn apart by the refs. Also, Smarty came off the track 2 or 3 times tonight.

Okay, so truth be told, the bout Sunday was PAINFUL for me. This season, I picked the Holy Rollers as “my team.” IE, they’re at the top of the ranking list of who I root for. But Rocky, who is my absolute favorite rookie for this season, was the chosen jammer for much of the bout for the Cherry Bombs, and I swore I wouldn’t root against her. I confessed my sins to her, and she agreed to take a pic with me at the next Cherry Bomb bout. Not only is she a badass skater, she's a sweet chick!

Tonight, I brought a good friend, who has heard me speak of roller derby often, we’ll call him The Brain, and when asked what his favorite part of the evening was, he replied “I really, really liked when the girls fly off the track, when they fight, and most definitely the plaid skirts.” Sounds like we’ve got a Holy Roller fan in the making!

This really was a close bout and a ton of fun to watch, even though I didn't cheer much! Thanks to the gals for all the fine skating!

Peace out and SK8 on!

Your humble banked track editor, ÅnaRchy

AZ tried to Mess With Texas...Renegade Rollergirls VS. TXRD Lonestar Rollergirls bout...

WOW! The interstate bout last night between the TXRD Lonestar Rollergirls and the Arizona Renegade Rollergirls was awesome! The ladies from AZ put up a good fight, but it wasn't enough. What I didn't know and found out while I bought a "Roll Out With Your Hole Out" t-shirt from an AZ rollergirl is that these ladies are FLAT TRACK. WOW. Now, I had respect for them taking on the TXRD Lonestar Rollergirls on their home turf to begin with, but to find out that some of them hadn't skated on a banked track before, these chicas have massive cajones. Kudos to the Renegades!

The skaters for TXRD were: Honey Homicide, Fanny Smack, Venis Envy, Mustang Sally, Annie Afterparty (in a lovely electric blue tutu), Dixie Sanchez, Rollergazm, Chingona, Dirty Blond and lastly, but most definitely not last, the lovely Lunatic made her comeback from child rearing. What a site to see! I'm proud to say I was one of the loud people by the track yelling "LUN-A-TIC, LUN-A-TIC!!"

The Renegade Rollergirls had the Texas Timebomb, Renegade, Mayhemily, Go Go Liz, Night-Mar, Killotine, JoAnn Thrax, Mad As Sin, and T-Wrexxx. And these ladies were awesome. They had speed, skills, and heart! We hope they'll come back soon!

My favorite skater of the evening: Honey Homicide. Let me tell you what's so great about Honey. Aside from the fact that she's a head taller than everyone and has a definite physical presence on the track, she has personality. Last night, and in previous bouts, she will cause a ruckus, get the crowd all riled up, then skate around with her hands behind her back and a sweet look on her face – literally saying "Who me? I didn't do that…" Now, by nature I'm not a Rhinestone fan (hey, you gotta pick a team as the nemesis, and the Rhine's are fun to hate – but don't get me wrong, they have some badass skaters) but Honey has won me over. I got to get a picture with her and am excited to see how it turned out! I heart Honey!

I got to meet and stand with the TXRD Board Whores (I love you guys!!) and let me tell you, that is the place to be. Aside from the fact that they cheer as much as I do, they actually know the skaters' strengths, weaknesses and personalities on the track. I thought I was the only one that kept up with that kind of stuff, but, at last, I found my people!! Now, I'm a lurker on the board, so I don't feel I qualify for Board Whore status, so for now, I'm a Board Slut, aspiring to be a Whore.

There were no Holy Rollers or Cherry Bombs on the team this year – these ladies gotta battle each other on Sunday – and it's bound to be a tough fight. I love me some Holy Rollers, but Rocky is my favorite rookie of the season (that gal has spunk and speed!), so I'll probably be wearing a Holy Roller shirt with my bright green Cherry Bomb hoodie. I gotta represent both of these kick ass teams! For the first time this season, I'm truly torn on who to root for, but either way, whoever wins – I'll be happy!

Many thanks and a whole shitload of kudos to the Arizona Renegade Rollergirls, you ladies have my respect and admiration. I look forward to the next interstate bout.

Peace out and SK8 on!
Your humble banked track editor, ÅnaRchy


PS. Oops, I almost forgot to include some useful information...the final score was: TXRD 76 - AZ 44

PSS. Will post whatever pics came out on my disposable camera after tonight's Holy Roller vs. Cherry Bomb bout - definetly the one with my girl, Honey!

Free SxSW Flat Track Event

Unfortunately, the TXRG Derby events have been cancelled. It's been yucky & rainy for days, so it looks like the Texas Rollergirls will not be able to set up their track for the outdoor event. (I'm hoping this might change...the forecast for tomorrow looks promising. So cross your fingers!!! Hopefully, with some better weather, the girls might be able to pull a miracle & get the derby event back on again.)

Regardless, the Texas Rollergirls will be there to meet & greet fans while promoting their April 1st bout. The bands are still scheduled to play, so check them out and go meet some of your favorite rollergirls!

And Pray the SUN Shines upon TXRG & lets the Derby REIGN!

• Date: Thursday, March 15
• Time: Bouts @ noon and at 6:30 p.m.
• Place: the corner of 2nd and Lavaca
• Tickets: FREE!

The Bands:

• Foundry Field Recordings
• Be/Non
• Call Me Poupee
• Pigeon John
• Dynamite Walls
• Lesbians on Ecstasy

Aw yeah, TONS of banked track derby action in the ATX!

Holy Cow! We've got TONS of banked track action in the ATX this week folks! You know my motto - too much derby is NEVER enough!



* On Thursday, March 15th, we've got the Arizona Renegade Rollergirls coming in for a rematch – those of you who watched the A&E series Rollergirls – these are the same ladies coming back for more! Doors at 7pm, bout begins at 8pm. $13 advance, $15 at the door

* Wanna rub elbows with some of your favorite gals? Rumor has it they will be out in force Friday, March 16th, at Momo's to rock out to Sinister Muse, from 12-5pm.

* Now this is cool! Saturday, March 17th from 2-6pm TXRD FREE Open House at the Convention Center! Come check out TXRD and visiting skaters doing their thing on the track, hear live bands and buy some TXRD merchandise and some drinks while you are there. If you are a rollergirl and will be in Austin, email purrana@txrd.com - we'd love to see ya!!!! Then from 8-11pm Utah Saints (http://www.myspace.com/utahsaints) are gonna rock out while TXRD skaters scrimmage at the Convention Center. $ 20 at the door.

* Then, as if all that ain't kick ass enough – we've got a regularly scheduled bout – Sunday, March 18th, the Holy Rollers are taking on the Cherry Bombs. Now, people, this is a bout you don't wanna miss. The Holy Rollers are gonna bring it with all they have, and as far as I know, all the favorites (and badasses) are gonna be rollin' – Sister Mary Jane, Miss Conduct, Smarty Pants, Punky Bruiser, Horrowshow, Sacrlicious, just to name a few. And we all know they Cherrybombs have the talented Rocky Casbah (can I just say she's my favorite rookie this season!) and she's got Heathen, Cherry Chainsaw, Dyna-Dash, Stoli watching her back. It's gonna be on! Doors at 6pm, Bout at 7pm. $13 advance, $15 at the door.

As always, for the full-on-real-deal visit TXRD.com or http://www.myspace.com/txrd

Peace out and Sk8 on!
Your humble banked track editor, ÅnaRchy

Apparently you can't herd cats! Hellcats vs. Rhinestone Cowgirls bout recap

So the Rhinestone Cowgirl vs. the Hellcats bout was a doosey! I was shocked at how few people were there, but was kinda selfishly glad...more room for me to jump around and shorter lines in at the bar! Where were you people? Come out and show some love! The question before the bout had been: Can the Rhinestone's herd the Hellcats…the answer: herding cats IS just as hard as it sounds. The ladies went at it all night, but the Hellcats ending up taking it by 19 points. Final Score: Hellcats 42 - Rhinestone Cowgirls 23. Wish I had more information about jamming and blocking and the 'real' derby stuff…but I drank, therefore I slack! Help a sista out!

Unfortunately, because it took me so long to write this, and I *might* have had a *little* to drink that night, much of the bout is a blur. I remember yelling a lot and saying ouch a lot (mostly for Emme Propper, one tough little cowgal, who I recall getting knocked around all night.) So, if you were there and had a favorite moment or remember something too cool to not share, PLEASE leave a comment to share with the world and refresh my memory!

The Hellcats did a fun little play on their introduction. The Rhinestone's had already come out and done their intro-lap and the Hellcats were nowhere to be found. Suddenly, they emerge from the back, each with face paint a feather stuck in her hair, sticking straight up, Indian (um, Native American) style. Each girl had a new name, each a representation of what they planned to do to the Cowgirls. I was so surprised that I can't remember who was who for the intro, but I loved it! Thank goodness for me, they didn't use them all night (I have trouble enough as it is…) But it was too cute! Wait, can I say "cute" to describe something roller derby? Oh, hell no. How about killer? It was killer! Okay, that sounds better.

My favorite moment: The Wolverine. According to the lovely and hellaciously tough Honey Homocide, The Wolverine is a manuever that is performed when the Rhinestone Cowgirls are either way behind or way ahead. What happens is this, and it's a beautiful sight. Each Rhinestone Cowgirl attacks there corresponding "enemy" at the same time so there are 5 mini-fights going on. And since this IS roller derby, the benches clear FAST. It's like mad, wonderful chaos. Not that I condone violence of any sort…except this kind. :0) I had never witnessed this phenomen before, and the Rhinestone's have a won a new place in my heart. The crowd went crazy, the refs were running from derby girl pile to derby girl pile, and everyone had smiles on their faces, me most of all. What a night! Thanks to the Hellcats and Rhinestone's for a wonderfully fun evening!

Peace out & Sk8 on! ÅnaRchy

Texas Rollergirls 3-4-07 Bout Update

It was a great start for the TXRG organization. I was both proud & lucky enough to serve on Production Crew, not only setting up for the bout but also be one of the Penalty Timers during the bout. And frankly...it was AWESOME! I can't lie or even attempt to play it "Joe Cool" here. It was a total fucking blast!

The season opener was sort of strange cause for the 1st time in TXRG history, there were a ton of trades in the pre-season. So it was absolutely crazy seeing girls like, for example, Buckshot Betsy skating for the Hell Marys instead of the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers. But variety is the spice of life & it looks like TXRG is entering the wild world of derby free-agency. It will be interesting to see what happens at the end of the 2007 season & where the chips will fall.

If you are into deep technical & play summary of the bouts, then do visit Phil Arnold. Phil gives great game summary, stats, & technical insight into every bout he attends. I wouldn't dare dream of trying to top it...there is a reason why he is the TXRG Super Fan! You can visit him Here & Here.

However, since I was effectively in the Penalty Box all night, I can tell you this...
The 1st period was filled with straight forward derby play. I recall 4 girls spending time in the box during the ENTIRE 1st half, (Dinah Mite, Lady X, Tinkerhell, & ???), 3 during the Hustler/Hell Mary bout & only 1 during the Honey/Heartbreaker bout.

But during the 2nd half, things got wild. Penalties were CAH-RAZY during the Hustler/Marys 3rd quarter. Slim Kickens was in there twice and stand-out "rookie" Lady X spent some time with us as well, as did Lady Stardust, and a few other girls. And at one point, we had 3 girls in the box at once. It got slightly hectic for us, especially for me as a newbie. I ain't gonna lie...I can't remember everyone cause, like a newbie on the job the 1st day of work, I was just trying to keep up & not screw up horribly. (And I did have 2 sad moments. A HUGE thanks goes out to Vicious van GoGo, Hog Wild, & *especially* Friction VixXxen of the Denver Roller Dolls for helpin' me out & always being there to back me up. BIG Love!!!) The 4th quarter was a bit tamer, although we had plenty going on penalty wise.

Next time, I'll bring a pad & pen, like a good little reporter, & write all this shit down. But frankly, I wasn't really there to do blog business this TXRG bout. I was just trying to LEARN & do the job at hand. (There is a huge difference between being an observer & having to keep track of the fast-paced action. I was schooled this lesson on Sunday, fo sho!) And while it might seem easy, there is definitely an art to knowing the rules, (which change as the sport rapidly grows & a new national par is set each year), execute the rules properly & fairly, and following a wicked fast game/jam while still being able to watch/hear the refs, rollergirls, announcers, and pay attention to the penalty clock in your hand all set to the tune of loud rock music you must yell over. It's definitely a job that I hope to perfect in the upcoming bouts, if given the chance.

I managed to take a few pics during the 2nd half, when there WEREN'T girls in the box, & I will get them developed ASAP & posted. (I took a disposable cam just cause I didn't want to deal with pockets & keeping up with a digital cam.) But frankly, I CANNOT wait for the next bout. Pics coming soon.

TXRG Season Opener TONIGHT!

Click on Poster for a Larger Image.

It's time for the first bout of the 2007 season, and the Texas Rollergirls are rarin' to go. How 'bout you?!

Be sure to bring your protective gear to the bout on Sunday, 'cause it's gonna be a rough 'n' tumble kinda night. Sure, girls from all four teams joined forces on the Texecutioners to kick ass at the Dust Devil, but it was a merge of necessity, not nicety.

The first match of the night is the Hustlers versus the Hell Marys. It's a re-match of the last game of 2006... and the grudges have not dissipated during the off-season. Can the Hustlers out-dance and out-skate those naughty school girls, or will the Hell Marys' plaid power prevail?

The second game of the night is a re-match of last year's Championship -- the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers verus the more-determined-than-ever Hotrod Honeys. Can the most dangerous girl gang to ever wear pink and black break the Heartbreakers' hearts, or will Austin's favorite rodeo sweethearts ride to victory again?

And it wouldn't be Rock'n'Rollerderby without the live music! Adrenaline Factor are gonna remind you why Austin is the live music capital of the world.

For all the latest information, go to http://txrollergirls.com/. There are still season tickets available. Go to http://txrollergirls.com/shop/seasontickets.htm to order them.

Sunday Sunday Sunday!!

How lucky are we in Austin? We have another TXRD Lonestar Rollergirls banked track bout this Sunday! Will the Rhinestone Cowgirls be able to herd the Hellcats? Come and find out!



Visit TXRD.com for more details on where to get advance tickets (save yo'self $2!)

Dust Devil '07 TXRG Photoblog

Photos By & Courtesy Of Jules Doyle
Click Here for more Dust Devil & Roller Derby pics.

Click on thumbnails to view larger photo.

Sin City Rollergirls 49 vs Texecutioners 121:



Rat City Rollergirls 105 vs Texecutioners 95:



Kansas City Roller Warriors 62 vs Texecutioners 111:



The ARGB definitely hearts Jules & we thank him for his awesomeness! Is that a word? Well, it is now!!! Big, BIG love to the JD, from the SB.