DAMN. What A BOUT!
So, Sunday saw the second ‘ending-in-a-tie-sudden-death-jam’ of the season, and both of these sudden deaths involved the Cherry Bombs (1st was CB vs. PDF, PDF’s took it), but this time the BOMBs took it! The entire bout was neck and neck, with the Cherry Bombs leading for most, if not all of it, but the Hellcats were always within 5 points. The game ended tied at 22 and the Bombs put in Rocky, Hellcats put in Dixie Sanchez and due to a penalty they had to reskate the jam, talk about killing me with anticipation! Rocky took it, like I knew she would, but it was a tense couple of minutes. Can I just say that Rocky is “the shit” and I mean that with the utmost respect! She's da bomb! (pun fully intended.)
We had some great intros this time. The Bomb Squad did a great little number to “Scratch the Catbox” – very fitting and well performed! (Jasmine’s hair was kickass tonight too!) And of course, the Hellcats did something special too – Hollywood themed Rocky, with Annie Afterparty looking especially catty in full boxing gloves! The ladies skated out to the “Eye of the Tiger” and were each wearing boxing style robes. Loved it!
For the Cherry Bombs, we had Poly Urethane returning, she has a definite presence on the track, wearing her college hockey mask, full face guard and all...two words: tough lady. And an even bigger surprise: Mighty Aphrodite skating for the CHERRY BOMBS. You read right, that is NOT a typo!! She looked great in Ginjure Scraps uniform…maybe black and green are her colors? Hmmmm? Nope, I think she’s a Rhine through and through. Jamming wise we had some great skating for the Bombs by Rocky of course, and Evilyn Carnet – she’s sneaks through the pack like no one else!
For the Hellcats, Ruby Sioux dislocated her finger (it was literally sticking out in different directions – ouch!) so Titz McGee came to the rescue of the Hellcats. She has officially skated for each team this season, and if she can somehow make into the next bout, she will have skated in every bout this season. Talk about dedication! Titz came in black, prepared to throw on a green shirt or a pink shirt, depending on where she was needed. Ruby, we hope your finger is okay!
Skating wise, there was some hard ‘bitch-is-goin-down’ blocking going on, especially as the bout progressed. Tempers were flaring for sure. There weren’t too, too many fights, but the ones there were, were pretty intense. The Hellcats were hauling ass and playing pretty defensively, speeding the pack up to a crazy pace to keep the Bombs from scoring, which I think in the end just ended up exhausting everyone and frustrating the Cherry Bombs. But those kitties put up a helluva fight. I had actually predicted the Bombs by 8, and was proved wrong by those tough little pussies (can I say that? Well, I did.) Now, I’m not totally up on what’s what, but I could tell there was a lot of stuff that wasn’t getting called and it was pissing some skaters off! Blatant tripping, clothes lining, and high blocks were everywhere, but not too many calls it seemed. There were a couple of times I thought Jonny Stranger’s head was going to spin around, exorcist style…he survived, but did his clip board? That may be a different story.
This was also Cherry Chainsaw’s last in-season bout. I’m just a fan and am so sad to see her leave the track, so I can only imagine how the skaters feel! But lucky for them and us she’s still gonna be around, training and schooling these gals. I’m so glad I got to see her skate this season! Miss Chainsaw, ma’am, you will be missed on the track!
On the Turn Four Board Whore front, another friendly face has left us…Sloppy Boggins headed back on up north, where the summers are nice, you will be missed and better be back soon! But, we also had a visiting (well, 2 actually) whore: Chicago Jimmy (pleasure to meet ya!) & the Flat Hippy, V2.0. Flat Hippy has been to ATX some times before, but this time, he got to skate the entire bout hung around the lovely neck of Varuca Assault. (by 1/2 time I think he was causing some neck chaffing – those damn dirty hippies.) We also had a Flat Willy Callit stuck in the track for the bout in honor of our last turn four board whore that moved up and on to different things. I was actually there at the bout, but don’t feel as lucky as the “Flats” with their ‘rock-star’ status. Maybe I need to leave ATX during the next bout and see what kind of seat Flat ÅnaRchy can get! A spin around Sister Mary Jane's neck would be nice! ;0)
So even after the bout, the entertainment continued. Mustang Sally took on a good buddy in a different type of wrestling match – he was on skates and she wasn’t. Is it me or is that backwards? Shouldn’t Mustang be the one rollin’? Either way, it was fun to watch her try to take him down, but damn, he had some pretty slick moves! I kept yelling “get him Mustang!” and “It’s not nice to beat up girls!” It was all in good fun and with lots of love. Venis Envy and Punky Bruiser also had a full on wrestling match on the concrete floor and I don’t think anyone won per say, except those watching perhaps. Without thinking, I yelled “Be careful with my favorite Roller!” and Venis PROMPTLY came back with “What about your favorite Puta?” She got me there! I had quickly say “And with my favorite Puta, of course! Ma’am, yes ma’am!” Finally, Smarty Pants came and broke it up, but maybe it was a preview of the boiling blood that is gonna be at full throttle during the final bout in the regular season. It’s gonna be a good one, you better find a baby sitter now and get those disposable cameras ready, coz you ain’t gonna wanna miss it! Holy Rollers vs. las Putas del Fuego, April 29th. Be there. Or suck. And you don’t wanna be a sucker do ya? Well, do ya punk?
Peace out and SK8 on!
Your humble banked track editor, ÅnaRchy
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