Banked track Playoffs are here!!

Okay, so this is too bittersweet for me to handle...a double header rawks, but then that means the season is wrapping up...what's a girl to do? Enjoy it while it lasts, duh! ;0)  Å


2007 SEASON PLAYOFFS ARE HERE!

MAY 12 - SATURDAY - DOUBLE-HEADER - PLAYOFF BOUTS #1 & #2
The doors open at the Austin Convention Center at 5pm. There's a pre-bout band (TBA), and then the first bout starts at 6:30pm, pitting the Putas del Fuego against the Rhinestone Cowgirls! Honky will entertain you between the bouts, and at 8:30pm, the chaos starts all over as the Cherry Bombs go up against the Hellcats! Holy cow - two bouts? A double-header?How can I afford that? We're goin' old-school on ticket prices for this special event - only $15 for the whole shebang at the door or online, or $13 for a ticket from one of our vendors around town! This is the first double-header in TXRD history -don't miss out!

JUNE 9 - SATURDAY - PLAYOFF BOUT #3
Playoff bout #3 will take place at the Austin Convention Center on Saturday June 9th, but we can't tell you which teams will be in the bout. We don't know! It all depends on who wins the first two bouts in the playoff series. You can be the first to know the teams for playoff bout #3 by coming to the double-header on May 12th. Be there or be square!

JUNE 23 - SATURDAY - CALVELLO CUP CHAMPIONSHIP
History tells us that the last classical gunfight with cowboys an' all that good stuff happened way back in 1934 in a little corner of Texas called Hermleigh. Well, history is going to repeat itself in a bloody showdown on June 9th at the convention center as the winner of playoff bout #3 faces off against the Holy Rollers in the 2007 Calvello Cup Championship. The Holy Rollers beat the Putas on April 29 -- will they do it again? Who knows -- maybe the Hellcats or Cherry Bombs will take those rowdy schoolgirls down a few notches. And don't forget the dark horse in this race - the Rhinestone Cowgirls. One thing's for sure -- Austin will never be the same!

Rollers vs. Putas - be there!

WHAT: Holy Rollers vs. Putas del Fuego
WHEN: Sunday, April 29th, doors @ 6pm, bout @ 7pm
WHERE: Austin Convention Center, 500 East Cesar Chavez, Austin TX

Heaven versus Hell, spicy versus sweet - either way it's delectable destruction waiting to happen on Sunday, April 29 as the fiery Putas del Fuego take on the not-so-angelic Holy Rollers. The Putas have burned a ring of fire around the banked track of the Thunderdome since their Calvello Cup Championship last season. But it wasn't so long ago that the Holy Rollers were the biggest bullies on the block, and they remember a thing or two about ruling this school. Say your prayers and put on an extra layer of fire retardant long-johns - this is going to be one hot time in the old town!

Tickets are on sale at the door and on online for $15, or pick up an advance ticket for only $13 at one of our vendors around Austin. Git yer tickets now! Visit TXRD.com for all the details!






From what I understand, whoever wins this bout is automatically in the Cavello Cup, then the remaining teams will battle it out. So this bout is destined to be BADASS.

Peace out and Sk8 on! Your humble banked track editor, ÅnaRchy

Sudden Death is pretty. Cherry Bombs vs. Hellcats

DAMN. What A BOUT!

So, Sunday saw the second ‘ending-in-a-tie-sudden-death-jam’ of the season, and both of these sudden deaths involved the Cherry Bombs (1st was CB vs. PDF, PDF’s took it), but this time the BOMBs took it! The entire bout was neck and neck, with the Cherry Bombs leading for most, if not all of it, but the Hellcats were always within 5 points. The game ended tied at 22 and the Bombs put in Rocky, Hellcats put in Dixie Sanchez and due to a penalty they had to reskate the jam, talk about killing me with anticipation! Rocky took it, like I knew she would, but it was a tense couple of minutes. Can I just say that Rocky is “the shit” and I mean that with the utmost respect! She's da bomb! (pun fully intended.)

We had some great intros this time. The Bomb Squad did a great little number to “Scratch the Catbox” – very fitting and well performed! (Jasmine’s hair was kickass tonight too!) And of course, the Hellcats did something special too – Hollywood themed Rocky, with Annie Afterparty looking especially catty in full boxing gloves! The ladies skated out to the “Eye of the Tiger” and were each wearing boxing style robes. Loved it!

For the Cherry Bombs, we had Poly Urethane returning, she has a definite presence on the track, wearing her college hockey mask, full face guard and all...two words: tough lady. And an even bigger surprise: Mighty Aphrodite skating for the CHERRY BOMBS. You read right, that is NOT a typo!! She looked great in Ginjure Scraps uniform…maybe black and green are her colors? Hmmmm? Nope, I think she’s a Rhine through and through. Jamming wise we had some great skating for the Bombs by Rocky of course, and Evilyn Carnet – she’s sneaks through the pack like no one else!

For the Hellcats, Ruby Sioux dislocated her finger (it was literally sticking out in different directions – ouch!) so Titz McGee came to the rescue of the Hellcats. She has officially skated for each team this season, and if she can somehow make into the next bout, she will have skated in every bout this season. Talk about dedication! Titz came in black, prepared to throw on a green shirt or a pink shirt, depending on where she was needed. Ruby, we hope your finger is okay!

Skating wise, there was some hard ‘bitch-is-goin-down’ blocking going on, especially as the bout progressed. Tempers were flaring for sure. There weren’t too, too many fights, but the ones there were, were pretty intense. The Hellcats were hauling ass and playing pretty defensively, speeding the pack up to a crazy pace to keep the Bombs from scoring, which I think in the end just ended up exhausting everyone and frustrating the Cherry Bombs. But those kitties put up a helluva fight. I had actually predicted the Bombs by 8, and was proved wrong by those tough little pussies (can I say that? Well, I did.) Now, I’m not totally up on what’s what, but I could tell there was a lot of stuff that wasn’t getting called and it was pissing some skaters off! Blatant tripping, clothes lining, and high blocks were everywhere, but not too many calls it seemed. There were a couple of times I thought Jonny Stranger’s head was going to spin around, exorcist style…he survived, but did his clip board? That may be a different story.

This was also Cherry Chainsaw’s last in-season bout. I’m just a fan and am so sad to see her leave the track, so I can only imagine how the skaters feel! But lucky for them and us she’s still gonna be around, training and schooling these gals. I’m so glad I got to see her skate this season! Miss Chainsaw, ma’am, you will be missed on the track!

On the Turn Four Board Whore front, another friendly face has left us…Sloppy Boggins headed back on up north, where the summers are nice, you will be missed and better be back soon! But, we also had a visiting (well, 2 actually) whore: Chicago Jimmy (pleasure to meet ya!) & the Flat Hippy, V2.0. Flat Hippy has been to ATX some times before, but this time, he got to skate the entire bout hung around the lovely neck of Varuca Assault. (by 1/2 time I think he was causing some neck chaffing – those damn dirty hippies.) We also had a Flat Willy Callit stuck in the track for the bout in honor of our last turn four board whore that moved up and on to different things. I was actually there at the bout, but don’t feel as lucky as the “Flats” with their ‘rock-star’ status. Maybe I need to leave ATX during the next bout and see what kind of seat Flat ÅnaRchy can get! A spin around Sister Mary Jane's neck would be nice! ;0)

So even after the bout, the entertainment continued. Mustang Sally took on a good buddy in a different type of wrestling match – he was on skates and she wasn’t. Is it me or is that backwards? Shouldn’t Mustang be the one rollin’? Either way, it was fun to watch her try to take him down, but damn, he had some pretty slick moves! I kept yelling “get him Mustang!” and “It’s not nice to beat up girls!” It was all in good fun and with lots of love. Venis Envy and Punky Bruiser also had a full on wrestling match on the concrete floor and I don’t think anyone won per say, except those watching perhaps. Without thinking, I yelled “Be careful with my favorite Roller!” and Venis PROMPTLY came back with “What about your favorite Puta?” She got me there! I had quickly say “And with my favorite Puta, of course! Ma’am, yes ma’am!” Finally, Smarty Pants came and broke it up, but maybe it was a preview of the boiling blood that is gonna be at full throttle during the final bout in the regular season. It’s gonna be a good one, you better find a baby sitter now and get those disposable cameras ready, coz you ain’t gonna wanna miss it! Holy Rollers vs. las Putas del Fuego, April 29th. Be there. Or suck. And you don’t wanna be a sucker do ya? Well, do ya punk?

Peace out and SK8 on!
Your humble banked track editor, ÅnaRchy

It was "Ride 'Em Cowgirls" on April 1st

As is becoming the custom apparently, this is late and somewhat forgotten, but thus is the way of life. If you weren’t at the Putas del Fuego vs. Rhinestone Cowgirls bout, you missed one HELLUVA bout. I’ll say it again, a helluva bout.

As far as penalties, there were lots of spank alleys, both regular and reversed. I’m thinking at the next bout, I’m gonna break down and buy some spank alley raffle tickets (find Eva Knievel before the bout - $1 a piece I believe…there’s the plug for spank alley!!), it seems like a fun place to spend a bout and helps our gals out a little bit more. There was a historic 1st ever 4-way pillow fight (Honey was in it, but can’t recall who else.)

Mike and Tim went to Mooshine’s at half time and attempted satellite feed announcing, however, I think the technology failed them, or maybe they were kicked out. They showed back up eventually at the Thunderdome, but meanwhile, Doc and Eva Knievel had taken over the Red Coat duties (they did a fine job by the way). So the new redcoats, in full polyester carried on and Mike and Tim announced a penalty from within the ring. Then I think things got back to normal, and then the fights broke out. I was looking away and suddenly heard the all telling “Ooooooh!” from the crowd and Mighty Aphrodite, in her comeback bout had Chola on the ground and the two were squirming around (and slapping each other) and this caused a bench clearing that had production crew members running in the track because the refs were as busy as 3-legged cats in the shit covering contest. I had hoped for, and predicted a Wolverine attack from the Rhinestone’s (which didn’t happen), but this scuffle was just as bad, with more people involved. It was madness, anarchy if you will!

This really was a great bout (I feel like I say that each time, but it’s true!) The Putas had decided to get hammered to “even out the playing field” but judging on the score, it didn’t seem to faze them. And no one puked, that I saw, but from what I understand, there were buckets in place. Just in case. Some of the Putas did seem a little tired (and I’m not sayin who…) but in the end it didn’t matter. It would appear that the tequila that did not kill them made them stronger. The final score was: Puta’s – 49, Rhine’s – 21. Now, I’ve said in the past that my nemesis team this season is the Rhine’s, but I’m not ready to throw in the towel on them, they got some fire in their bellies yet.

Mighty Aphrodite (aka “The Mouth” see cable access channel 10, 10 pm Mondays nights) made her skating comeback tonight with the Rhinestone’s and showed she’s still hard as nails. She was starting fights left and right and jammed a couple several times against Lunatic, who is also fresh back on the track. She skated against the Arizona Renegade Rollergirls after taking some time off to bring the world a little lunatic. But this was her first bout her girls. Good to have both these badasses back!

During the 4th quarter, the tension was thick. There was lots of good blocking on the part of the Rhinestone’s, but Chola and Chingona managed to pull off several full jams and kept the lead going up. But you would never guess it to look at the spirit of the Rhinestone’s. I’m not sure which scuffle exactly got Honey ejected, but she got ejected. Second time this season. (First time was against the Cherry Bombs.) I think it was between her and Lunatic, but either way, she ended up throwing her helmet at Luna and Chola, and Luna proceeded to pick it up and chunk it out of the track, flying over the Whore’s Turn 4, towards the bar. Then as I recall, there were several security officials that “encouraged” Honey to head on out. After the bout on the way out the door, I saw her and pointed and said “Honey, I love you!’ and sorta smiled and said very dryly and matter-of-factly, “yeah, but you’re wearing a Puta shirt.” I totally got called out. And admit it.

Titz McGee skated again tonight, I believe she has skated in every single bout this season and I’m willing to say that I think she’s skated for every team except the Hellcats. Either way, she’s becoming quite the badass blocker – in the way when she needs to be. Joining Titz on the Rhinestone’s was Kate or Dye, who is becoming quite the quick jammer. Both of these ladies kick ass and I’m looking forward to watching them progress.

And lastly, we said farewell to Willy Callit, production crewmember, referee in training and knowledgeable board whore. Hope your backside has recovered from the TXRD spank alley love! His friendly face will be missed on Turn 4, but maybe he’ll be back for the playoffs…(hint, hint, Willy…)

Peace out & Sk8 on! Your humble banked track editor, ÅnaRchy

Texas Rollergirls on the Radio!

The Texas Rollergirls are hitting the airwaves to talk Derby...

Wednesday, March 28 - 9:40 a.m. - AM1300 The Zone
The Texas Rollergirls join Bucky and Erin on "The Buck on Sports" to talk about
the April 1 bout and Melicious's book ROLLERGIRL: TOTALLY TRUE TALES FROM THE
TRACK. www.sportsradio1300.com

Friday, March 30 - 7:40 a.m. - 101X
Dirty Deeds and Melicious get down and Derby with Jason & Mike on the Morning X. Tune in to 101.5 FM. http://www.krox.com